DelBloggolo

Sunday, September 21, 2014

THE EYES HAVE IT


Took TLW (The Little Woman) for cataract surgery on her right eye, let me tell you, it is exhausting! Yes, I suffered greatly. She did fantastic, but she had the easy job, going into the operating room and they fix the eye, but me, I had to wait for 3 hours with a bunch of old biddies that talk too much.

TLW is the perfect patient, a doctor tells her what she has to do and she does it. No big deal, no asking for her mommy, nothing, just marches off in those short strides and gets it done. It resembles her marching down the aisle in church so many years ago, her father running to catch up to her.

Most of the people in the waiting room were over 70, and grumpy old men and noisy, chatting wives who wear too much perfume and did I say talk a lot?

When we got to where we should be, we sat down surrounded by what looked like a tryout for the Pirates of Penzance, with little band-aids over one eye!

One my right sat two elderly ladies, one of which who spoke so people on the next floor could hear her, and yapped continuously.  On my left sat TLW, and next to her were another two elderly ladies, one of which did ALL of the talking.

Soon TLW was called in and I was left to listen to them all. As I sat there, the old hag on my right left for a moment and her talk mate saw me sitting alone, and starting to look in my direction, and I would have nothing of it, shifting over to TLW’s vacated seat. The problem was I was now in earshot of how the other women liked her eye doctor, but decided to get a second opinion. I offered mine under my breath about volume and girth and it made me feel good. I know I am not being nice, but I hate to hear what other people have to say, especially when I’m not in the conversation. Go into a restaurant and on occasion you find a large group, and one or more of the morons wants to be the funny man, be loud and make the table mates get crazy with noise like I wish I would want to be sitting with them. All the while I’m hoping a crazed postal worker would show up not liking noise and put them out.

Go on a subway or train and you find someone yelling into their phones, and I want to take the phone and toss it out the window. Apparently, the old talking bat went into the operating room and continued non-stop in there too!

OK, so I am waiting out in the waiting room, trying to read something on my I-pad and there is this one woman, looked like Hiawatha’s grandmother who was waiting also. For two hours this woman got up and down off her chair and paced the room, standing over me as she did, looking toward the operating room like that would make things go faster. I started writing some poetry in my head:

“I shot an arrow in the air,
I hope it lands in her rear.”

OK I’m being nasty again, so I decide to go to the men’s room, because the ladies room would have caused a stir. When I come out, Hiawatha’s grandmother is sitting in my chair!!! I give her such an ugly look (Not hard) she jumps out of my seat and goes back to her old seat.

There was one lady who needed to go to the toilet. She was about my age and got up, went to the ladies room and found the door locked. She looked distressed and went back to her seat. After 10 minutes, she got up again and went to the ladies room with the same results, so I suggested to her to use the men’s room and I would stand outside the door to prevent anyone from going in, it was my good deed for the day and hopefully erased all my mental bad behavior and impatience.

But the kicker was: two people who happened to become friends, who were both called in at once. As they headed toward the operating room, one was a man and one a woman, the wife of the man made them stop, posed for a picture from a cell phone before continuing in for their operation!

And that folks is how you spend three hours waiting.







Address: 1231 Taft Hwy, Signal Mountain, TN 37377
Hours: Open today · 10:00 am – 6:00 pm



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Saturday, September 20, 2014

JUST A THOUGHT

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I’m reading in the newspapers that there is another animal out there in the person of Minnesota Vikings Adrian Peterson, who took a “Twitch” as he called it, a tree branch stripped of its leaves and applied it to his 4-year old son’s butt! He sees it as old-fashioned southern discipline, and after being called on it, says he regrets any unintentional pain he heaped on the child.

Rice
Of course there is that other jackass who punched his fiancé in an elevator and was caught in the act. She of course married him after that, thus jackasses attract to each other. But I believe I already mentioned how I feel about them, so back to Mr. Peterson.

He seems to think that because the child is his in name only, he has a right to apply abuse to an innocent child, inflicting pain and thinking it is for the benefit of the child. But I would ask him this: What do you think would happen to you, if you inflicted that same kind of punishment for the same kind of ‘crime’ on another 4-year old other than your child? It of course would be deemed unacceptable. He would be arrested.
Peterson

The first word that comes to mind is assault, which I think would probably come to his size-challenged mind also. What would make that bad, but beating his 4-year old son OK? That child is no one’s property and should be respected. You want to punish the kid, ok, take away something he loves for a while, and see what else there is, but keeps your hands off of the kid!

Mom had her wooden spoon, which she used for several well-deserved occasions, but I didn’t see the business end of it until I was older that 4, and she used it with just one whack, on the arms, the butt or legs and never on the head. It was more for intimidation and coercion than for real physical punishment. But I think it was wrong too, in retrospect. Most young kids got a strap or wooden spoon. The interesting dichotomy is that the strap meant the father was the disciplinarian while the wooden spoon meant mom was the enforcer.

The enforcers!
My father was never one to hit, he always deferred to mom, and although he yelled, it wasn’t often, he liked to pick his spots. Mom on the other hand used yelling a lot, and complained I didn’t listen enough to her. It was kind of hard, even with her yelling to hear her as the wooden spoon came into play, causing me to develop cat-like responses to sudden noises.

I will say this for corporal punishment: it is more effective than the more lenient kind I am proposing, but it is more barbaric, more painful when pain shouldn’t be the criteria for punishment. Most of us growing up in the 40’s and 50’s got the paiful kind, and really, we grew up very well adjusted for it, but it is time ti think about ourselves a little better.






Address: 1231 Taft Hwy, Signal Mountain, TN 37377
Hours: Open today · 10:00 am – 6:00 pm

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Friday, September 19, 2014

WORK WITH ME HERE PEOPLE


What we need in this country is some consistency: we talk the talk and need to walk the walk. What am I talking about? Why exercise of course.

It occurred to me last Sunday as I was doing my daily walking around the block, that there is no consistency in this society. Every doctor including your basic eye, ear, nose and throat doctor and not excluding the eye doctors, say you need to exercise to stay healthy. How does staying healthy translate into making medicine a great paying career that it is? Well, the more you exercise, the more your chances are of breaking a bone, pulling a ligament or even ripping a muscle. There is also the out side chance of dislocating a joint, all will prove healthy in maintaining a doctor’s healthy income.

But let’s look beyond the money and concentrate of the exerciser instead of the exercisee, and look at the long-term benefits of such foolishness.

Being we are now in a new age, one that looks for convenience and efficiency, with such tools as the cell-phone and all that it can do. If you notice, there is always an app for some kind of thing or other. Apps for shopping lists, apps for weather and even locating restaurants in the neighborhood. For instance there is ‘YELP’ an app that when I first heard about it thought what a great idea! An app to report dogs that bark, only to be turned away in my thinking and learning it was for finding restaurants! There are apps for sports scores and GPS apps to assist you on your way. But I have an important question: WHERE THE HELL IS THE APP THAT IS NEEDED FOR EXERCISING???

Let’s face it: exercising is the one guilt trip most of us are on: we don’t get enough exercise so we are told. Well, if there was an exercise app: that would complete life. Look at me, over the hill but not yet under it, I could use an exercise app. But you must be wondering: “How the hell would it work DelBloggolo?”

Very simple! You go to your cell-phone, tap the exercise app, type in how many reps or miles you want, name the app your name, and start the thing running. All you need to do is take a nap for as long as the app runs! You get your exercise and your rest, all at the same time. Now here is the beauty of it all: when the doctor asks if you exercise you say: Yes! You take out your cell-phone and show him the documentation and he leaves you alone.

Please, don’t thank me.




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Thursday, September 18, 2014

IN THE GOOD OLD SUMMER TIME


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEnnTtWrAN0

It used to happen every year. I would take my vacation in late summer, weeks before the Labor Day weekend and when I went back to work, the air seemed to be cooling off, the sun didn’t shine like it did before Labor Day and the traffic and suit I wore didn’t seem loose anymore.

There's a time in each year
That we always hold dear,
Good old summer time;
With the birds and the treeses
And sweet-scented breezes,
Good old summer time.
When your day's work is over
Then you are in clover,
And life is one beautiful rhyme,
No trouble annoying
Each one is enjoying,
The good old summer time.

I can remember sitting in the traffic, it seemed that first day back, everyone was heading to work including the summer residents from out east, who lived in the Hamptons, all going west with the regular commuters. For myself it was always apprehension, what was waiting for me when I opened my office door and saw all the inter-office mail, the e-mails that collected on my computer, and who I would yell at for screwing up something they shouldn’t have.

In the good old summer time,
In the good old summer time,
Strolling thro' the shady lanes,
With your baby mine;
You hold her hand and she holds yours,
And that's a very good sign
That she's your tootsey wootsey
In the good old summer time.

Then there was the scheduling, the meetings that I needed to attend, the updates and catching up I needed to do. I would vow that it was my last vacation, no more since I would need a vacation from the return to work!

To swim in the pool,
You'd play "hooky" from school,
Good old summer time;
You'd play "ring-a-rosie"
With Jim, Kate and Josie,
Good old summer time,
Those days full of pleasure
We now fondly treasure,
When we never thought it a crime,
To go stealing cherries,
With face brown as berries,
Good old summer time.

Of course, if I went away, say out of the country or to a distant place to vacation, I would still be hearing the sounds and pleasure of the time away, giving me a sadness knowing that the real world lay at my feet once again, and I had to face it.

In the good old summer time,
In the good old summer time,
Strolling thro' the shady lanes,
With your baby mine;
You hold her hand and she holds yours,
And that's a very good sign
That she's your tootsey wootsey
In the good old summer time.

So farewell once again to summer, but this time I don’t feel bad, I will go enjoy the autumn air and when I feel like it, take a nap, maybe around 1:30 PM, when they used to schedule meetings on me and I had to attend, dreaming about a nice nap after lunch.


   

Address: 1231 Taft Hwy, Signal Mountain, TN 37377
Hours: Open today · 10:00 am – 6:00 pm



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Wednesday, September 17, 2014

SEEING EYED WIFE

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Many years ago, when my Mom had some work done on her left eye, she was unable for a while to see out of that eye. In those days, she and Dad would frequently visit on a weekend and see the grandchildren and catch up with what we were up to.

When she had the procedure done, it opened up an opportunity for us to clean only half the house. This meant that when she entered, she could only see if we cleaned on her right side. So we decided to clean only the right side and take the rest of the morning off, waiting for her to come. We were cautious enough to back her out of the house so all she saw was the right side. Of course it didn’t work, she could smell dust from a mile away.

Recently, TLW (The Little Woman) is in need of cataract surgery for her left eye. She has a scheduled surgery date and instructions on when and how to appear, bringing this and that. She needs medical insurance proof, identification and someone to drive her to and from the procedure. Also there is the issue of drops for three days prior to the surgery.

One morning TLW stated she would be a little late coming home from work since she had to pick up a medication. I suggested she let me do it and then that way she doesn’t have to take that time. Once I put my foot in my mouth, she then decided to take advantage of my largesse and push the envelope a little further.

“Can you remind me next Monday (Today is Friday) that blah, blah, blah.”

Me: “Monday? Monday! Who’s going to remind me???”

 For me to remind her of anything between now and Monday would require my brain being shrunk, washed and perhaps dressed with cherry tomatoes to remember anything.

Any who…  she will be unable to see from one eye, yes one eye she cannot see what I’m doing. I have to try to keep on her good side, the bad eye side. But that won’t work, I don’t have any plans, and so goes a wasted opportunity! She will walk around looking like a pirate, and at the least a: seeing eyed wife!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY LOVELY NIECE LAURIE ANN O'HARA




Address: 1231 Taft Hwy, Signal Mountain, TN 37377
Hours: Open today · 10:00 am – 6:00 pm


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Tuesday, September 16, 2014

PUNCHING BAGS


You have all read about Ray Rice turning his then fiancé into a punching bag. The man played for the Baltimore Ravens, a professional football team that partakes because of the nature of the sport in violent play.

The woman he hit, who he later married had happened by chance to walk into his fist, sending her a message that said he was an animal and sending her body violently against the rail of an elevator, to reinforce his message.

We know he is an animal, no one should have any respect for men who hit women, they are not men, but scum, and scum is always avoided. But he is not the issue.

It has always amazed me how women, after they are beaten and sometimes savagely, would even associate with the animal. How do they crunch the numbers and say to themselves: “Yes, he is worth a beating or two every now and then.”

Having grown up with 4 sisters, being married, being a son, and uncle of nieces, I can’t imagine anyone of them being hit by a man, without my coming by with a baseball bat to crack a skull or two. I know women who have had things like that happen, and you wonder how that could conceivably happen to that person. Did she suddenly grow into a large behemoth? He needed to protect himself from her? I don’t care if she cheated, stole and or killed, you don’t hit a woman.

I think that with all the publicity, that little boys will learn early on just how despicable hitting a woman is. That kind of violence is learned, someone showed Ray Rice how to do it, and his wife too, learned from someone else’s misfortune how to take it and move on with him. Having the NFL throw him out for life is the only lesson they can teach Ray Rice, and the little boys, all who adore men like him will better understand, DON’T HIT ANYBODY!

I guess the man’s station in life may have an effect on the women’s thinking that it is OK since it is coming from HIM, a public figure, maybe a another football player, a politician or minister, perhaps a cop.

I hope they run the reactions of people to Ray Rice’s deed, and run it in classrooms as part of the Humanities for young boys for a long, long time, maybe they will learn and this will never happen again.



Address: 1231 Taft Hwy, Signal Mountain, TN 37377
Hours: Open today · 10:00 am – 6:00 pm



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Monday, September 15, 2014

THE GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER YADA YADA YADA


I took down the tree in my front yard and suddenly I am finally happy with my lawn. Yes, that is what it takes to make me happy, well that and a good pork chop with a donut maybe.

But why would it make me happy? Well imagine how you would feel if some old lady walking by asks: “Is that how your mother raised you, with a crappy lawn?” Of course, little kids on their bicycles would run over it and I’d yell; “HEY! KEEP OFF THE LAWN!” They’d yell back: “Where???” Smart asses all.

The old Oak tree used to keep the sun from shinning on the lawn, keeping it from growing the way it should. After hurricane Sandy, I noticed how high it sat and that I could see the roots popping out from below the surface, plus the fact that my neighbor had a similar tree in a similar spot fall on his house.

So I went out after the tree came down and ordered some top soil, rich, black and enough to cover a major league ballpark, spread it all over the front of the house where the lawn should be but instead sits saw dust and chips with sand. Then I spread the lawn with fertilizer and seed and stood back.

Nothing happened.

I was watering twice everyday and still…

Nothing happened.

Then one morning, the front looked like it was molding, and I decided I’d take mold, so I continued to water twice a day, hoping the mold would fool everyone, including the little old ladies. It did, it fooled me. It was grass!

Today, as I stare out at the lawn, people go by and don’t notice the green, the lush and thick grass that is bursting forth, because it looks like grass! Yes, I could have used the word graze, but I didn’t want to scare the grass, but some of my neighbors have noticed. “Hey! What’s that green stuff in front of the house???” Or, that little old lady goes by now and sticks her tongue out at me as she passes and yells: “Smart ass, think you’re a real farmer, huh?” And the kids on their bikes? They now yell: “Oh yeah, NOW I see it!” 

It’s good in America!


 
Address: 1231 Taft Hwy, Signal Mountain, TN 37377
Hours: Open today · 10:00 am – 6:00 pm

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