Took TLW (The Little Woman) for cataract surgery on her
right eye, let me tell you, it is exhausting! Yes, I suffered greatly. She did
fantastic, but she had the easy job, going into the operating room and they fix
the eye, but me, I had to wait for 3 hours with a bunch of old biddies that
talk too much.
TLW is the perfect patient, a doctor tells her what she has
to do and she does it. No big deal, no asking for her mommy, nothing, just
marches off in those short strides and gets it done. It resembles her marching
down the aisle in church so many years ago, her father running to catch up to
Most of the people in the waiting room were over 70, and
grumpy old men and noisy, chatting wives who wear too much perfume and did I
say talk a lot?
When we got to where we should be, we sat down surrounded by
what looked like a tryout for the Pirates of Penzance, with little band-aids
over one eye!
One my right sat two elderly ladies, one of which who spoke
so people on the next floor could hear her, and yapped continuously. On my left sat TLW, and next to her were
another two elderly ladies, one of which did ALL of the talking.
Soon TLW was called in and I was left to listen to them all.
As I sat there, the old hag on my right left for a moment and her talk mate saw
me sitting alone, and starting to look in my direction, and I would have
nothing of it, shifting over to TLW’s vacated seat. The problem was I was now
in earshot of how the other women liked her eye doctor, but decided to get a second
opinion. I offered mine under my breath about volume and girth and it made me
feel good. I know I am not being nice, but I hate to hear what other people
have to say, especially when I’m not in the conversation. Go into a restaurant
and on occasion you find a large group, and one or more of the morons wants to
be the funny man, be loud and make the table mates get crazy with noise like I
wish I would want to be sitting with them. All the while I’m hoping a crazed
postal worker would show up not liking noise and put them out.
Go on a subway or train and you find someone yelling into
their phones, and I want to take the phone and toss it out the window.
Apparently, the old talking bat went into the operating room and continued
non-stop in there too!
OK, so I am waiting out in the waiting room, trying to read
something on my I-pad and there is this one woman, looked like Hiawatha’s grandmother
who was waiting also. For two hours this woman got up and down off her chair
and paced the room, standing over me as she did, looking toward the operating
room like that would make things go faster. I started writing some poetry in my
“I shot an arrow in the air,
I hope it lands in her rear.”
OK I’m being nasty again, so I decide to go to the men’s
room, because the ladies room would have caused a stir. When I come out,
Hiawatha’s grandmother is sitting in my chair!!! I give her such an ugly look
(Not hard) she jumps out of my seat and goes back to her old seat.
There was one lady who needed to go to the toilet. She was
about my age and got up, went to the ladies room and found the door locked. She
looked distressed and went back to her seat. After 10 minutes, she got up again
and went to the ladies room with the same results, so I suggested to her to use
the men’s room and I would stand outside the door to prevent anyone from going
in, it was my good deed for the day and hopefully erased all my mental bad
behavior and impatience.
But the kicker was: two people who happened to become
friends, who were both called in at once. As they headed toward the operating
room, one was a man and one a woman, the wife of the man made them stop, posed
for a picture from a cell phone before continuing in for their operation!
And that folks is how you spend three hours waiting.
Address: 1231 Taft Hwy, Signal
Mountain, TN 37377