DelBloggolo

Thursday, March 05, 2015

AS BIRTHDAYS GO


Sometimes I wake up grumpy -- other times I let her sleep.

Its really frightening if you think about it, he is still breathing. His wife never killed him, and Lord knows I tried many times, but like the common cold, he just lingers, until you want to kill yourself.

Now I’ve known Phil most of my life, which makes me nervous, irritable, twitchingly crazed from the experience. I though about therapy but stopped short of an appointment when I thought: “What if Phil used him once, he would be no good as a therapist anymore, just a broken man!”

A lot has happened since January of 1965, when we first met. He was already crazy, and I was working on it myself. Being a quiet individual, I sought to have a peaceful education, just go to school, get a degree and get out. But no, instead I met Phil, who was always one step ahead of the police, the dean and his latest girlfriends father.

Phil was poised to make a name for himself and he did: ‘NUTCASE’ and he has through hard work earned it. If you walk along the streets of Staten Island, you will see people, a shell of themselves, talking to no one, shaking and even drooling, these are all acquaintances of Phil’s, people, unsuspecting when they shook his hand for the first time.

We have hung out together for these so many years, 50 to be exact, and the friendship has never faulted, my spirit might have, just like those droolers, but I hung on. Why? It is my solemn duty to mankind to take the brunt of his shenanigans and keep the world safe.

Now he has defied the odds, confused the expectations of the world about him, he is married, with children. They have manage to keep their sanity and maintain a sane appearance, defying the odds!

WOW PHIL, YOU GOT OLD!
You can’t mistaken him either, he is a Jewish kid with a loaf of Italian bread between his teeth and smiling without his horns. His lovely wife Linda was once interviewed by a local radio station and asked how she came to marry him, in which she replied: “married! Who? Us?” Well he says he is.

Anyway, he is crazy and I love it, and love him as a brother!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE BEST FRIEND A GUY EVER HAD! MOZEL TOV!

           



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Wednesday, March 04, 2015

IT SEEMS LIKE ONLY YESTERDAY


Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"

Where have all the days gone? I see the year 1975 and I think: that was only yesterday! But it was 40 years ago! Where are the people of those years? Where have they all gone to?

Where is that little kid I knew, he was full of life and wanted to know everything, but now knows more than I do, where is he? He lives in West Chester and California, not needing me any more.

Where is the dance I went to, getting that date and smelling her perfume long after the dance, and dreaming of her? Where did that go?

Where was the first day of college, the feeling that I had the start of my future in my hands, where is that?

Where is the first day of my career, feeling insignificant and alone, but hopeful, what happened to that.

There was the letter from the motor Vehicle Office informing me that I passed my road test, I was now on my way! What happened to that sense of accomplishment?

I remember the proposal and the courtship, the wonderful dinners and events, the milestones and benchmarks of life, all rolled into one, where are they?

I remember a young bride, with little children and driving ambitions for the future, that future being today, where has it all gone? What happened in between the day and night, why has dusk fallen so soon? Today is just another word for yesterday!

It is funny, I wish I could recall all those days once more, just like an automobile needing a touch up, I would want to recall my life and touch up my life, make it better and remember it more. I would change certain attitudes and expand ideas, but it is too late, you can’t recall, you can’t redo, you can only accept what is.

I wish I were more accepting of new concepts when I was young, not so head strong and unwilling to acknowledge the truths. I believed what I was taught and should have challenged everything I was told, but I was too trusting.

Somewhere in this world there is a young fellow, filled with dreams and ambition, hope for his future and enough piss and vinegar to climb Mt. Everest, swim the English Channel and fall in love all in one day. He will ask himself: Where has it all gone? Some day.





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Address: 1231 Taft Hwy, Signal Mountain, TN 37377
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DO YOU WATCH THE BIG BANG THEORY?
You should!



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Tuesday, March 03, 2015

IN A HANDBASKET


Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He's got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, "What's in the bags?"

"Sand," answered Juan.

The guard says, "We'll just see about that. Get off the bike." The guard detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. He releases Juan and lets him cross the border.

A week later, the same thing happens. The guard asks, "What's in the bags?"

"Sand," says Juan.

The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to Juan, and Juan crosses the border on his bicycle.

This sequence of events is repeated every week for three years.

Finally, Juan doesn't show up one day and the guard meets him in a Cantina in Mexico.

"Hey Buddy," says the guard, "I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about...Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?"

Juan sips his beer and says, "Bicycles."



Yes, as I cranky old man, I’m telling you this country indeed is going to Hell in a hand basket! There are too many things wrong in society today that really anger me. Now you know I’m a sweet, calm and level headed guy that doesn’t get too excited, but…

I was driving the other day and there is a turning lane next to me that allows you to turn left. Behind me is a young man in a beat up old car and immediately my radar is turned on to him. We are stopped at a light and he is now next to me. Sure enough the light turns green and instead of turning left, Batsman decides to pass me. A cute little trick but it scares the Hell out of me, and left TLW (The Little Woman) speechless. I never realized that driving crazy was all it took!

When I was growing up, I was taught by my parents, teachers and clergy that there has to be some courtesy extended to older people and women in particular. If a lady is getting into your car, you hold the door open for her as a respectful show of her rightful place in society as one who is responsible for the propagation of the species. Without women, there would be no children, no calm and no sense in this world as a whole. Just ask your mom if you don’t believe me. Yet what I see is young people just not holding doors for their wives or girlfriends, I do it for TLW and I think it is something we should continue to do to help us all keep our places in society strong.

I have to say that when I enter the gym for my workout, or leaving it afterward, the young guys do hold the door for me if I am heading in that direction. But I see many younger people leaving buildings and not bothering to be courteous at all. Old people seem to do it for each other but the custom is dying out!

Then there is the barking dog. There are dog owners who will leave their dogs out all day, and the poor animal will bark all day long! These are people who shouldn’t own a dog, not only is it cruel to the dog, it is annoying to the neighbors, and don’t you hear your dog-barking owner?

Ever go into a theatre or supermarket and try to get by people who just stand in the aisle, oblivious to your wishing to pass by? They pretend they don’t see you and want to cause you to walk around them. These morons get only one chance with me, because if I’m coming back and they don’t move, a shove will do it.

Then there is my favorite: the parker who intentionally parks either on a particular angle or over the lines so no one will park next to him/her because they have a brand new car and are afraid of getting a ding in the side. Well guess what, you can’t do that the rest of your car loan: eventually someone will nail you both figuratively and literally!

So folks, let’s be courteous and not selfish, make nice and watch out for each other.





LOOKING FOR GREAT GIFT IDEAS FOR YOUR CHILDREN OR GRANDCHILDREN?


Address: 1231 Taft Hwy, Signal Mountain, TN 37377
Hours: Open today · 10:00 am – 6:00 pm



DO YOU WATCH THE BIG BANG THEORY?
You should!

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Monday, March 02, 2015

AND THEN THERE ARE DAZE


I never make a mistake, I thought I did once, but I was wrong.

Ever have a day where everything goes wrong? It starts by just getting out of bed and doesn’t end until you get back into bed?

Years ago before desktop publishing, I used to design advertising and I had this long statement I had to hand-letter. Hand-lettering took a long time and you tried to replicate the design of the fonts you wanted, so it wasn’t a simple thing of just quick strokes, but repeated strokes and adding things like serifs to the design of the letter style. I did these in either chalk pastels or magic markers and sometimes pen and ink or paint and brushes and it was tedious.

This one assignment had me lettering 20 lines of type on a page about 14 x 20 inches and it was close work. After about 45 minutes to an hour, I finished and looked at the job, and there stood my source of aggravation, I carried the word ‘the’ which ended a line and carried it to the next line too, a typo that looked like: “Can you find the mistake?” I had to re-letter the whole thing once more!

Once going to work, I got a flat tire and was in Old Westbury near C.W. Post College and so had to call my office to tell them I would be late for a big meeting. I was so in a hurry that I put the spare tire on and forgot to tighten the lug nuts! I drove with this wobbly sound and pulled over to realize my mistake!

But of course the worse mistakes are often the time consuming ones like the time I should have put on my GPS and instead went by a map that I downloaded from the Internet. Coming out of a crowded and congested airport for a major highway, I missed a turn and went hours out of my way and instead of getting to my destination in an hour at 3:30, I didn’t get there until late at night in the driving rain. This was Arizona, and it never rains there!






LOOKING FOR GREAT GIFT IDEAS FOR YOUR CHILDREN OR GRANDCHILDREN?


Address: 1231 Taft Hwy, Signal Mountain, TN 37377
Hours: Open today · 10:00 am – 6:00 pm



DO YOU WATCH THE BIG BANG THEORY?
You should, it will keep you on your toes!


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Sunday, March 01, 2015

I FINALLY COME OUT OF THE CLOSET


So Dave's praying and he prays "God, I've been your loyal servant for all these years - why won't you let me win the lottery! I helped those homeless people, went to church every week for the last 10 years, even when I was sick. But still you don't let me win the lottery!"
And a voice from the Heavens comes down "Dave! Dave! Meet me halfway on this! Buy a lottery ticket!"

I finally came out of the closet, the drawers and even my desk!

Yes an ongoing battle of the home office continues, the valiant fight to eliminate paper, some of it dating to 1994 is ongoing on a few fronts. Hitler fought a war on two fronts and lost, and I’m losing too. My problem lies in the fact that I believe that as soon as you toss it, you will need it.

I mean do I really need a map of Saratoga Springs? When I go to Saratoga, I can get a map from a hotel. Do I need copies of the same info, will one copy disappear and I’ll need another? But won’t it be with the one that disappeared? Do I need TLW (The Little Woman) reminding me that she can’t see the desk?

Then there are scraps of paper, with phone numbers, nothing else, but to whom do the numbers belong? Business records that go way past the statute of Limitations, I am afraid to toss.

Names? I got enough names to start a small city, and I’d need a phone book to list them, because I don’t know whom the heck these people are! Do I throw them away?  NOOOO! They will call me or worse, visit and then what? Nothing, that’s what, but I must hold on to the scraps of paper.

Books, there are so many that I’m not sure if I read them or not. Many are reference books, but toss them? NO WAY!

Now there is the question of an old Rolodex that has addresses from companies I did business with throughout my career. These are businesses that are extinct, as is the thing and service they sold me, or clients that no longer exist. Is it sentimental, is what I do now a sentimental journey?

My dream is to toss everything, lock stock and barrel, but if I do, I just know I’ll need it all, and it will be a hard day. When I die I want everybody as they celebrate, get all that paper and cut it up into little pieces and toss it as confetti.





LOOKING FOR GREAT GIFT IDEAS FOR YOUR CHILDREN OR GRANDCHILDREN?


Address: 1231 Taft Hwy, Signal Mountain, TN 37377
Hours: Open today · 10:00 am – 6:00 pm



DO YOU WATCH THE BIG BANG THEORY?
You should, you'll feel better organized!

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Saturday, February 28, 2015

WE ALL HAVE NEEDS


The country continues to deal with brutal weather. A group of teenagers in Colorado surprised their neighbors by shoveling 50 driveways and walkways for free. They didn't mean to. They were just too stoned to remember which house was theirs. 


Today is a bonus: the worst month we will experience this year is about to end, thanks to a few days cut off the calendar. I guess God decided that February is too much this year! It is the third coldest month of February ever, according to a weatherman on CBS.

Thank you GOD, I NEEDED THAT!

As you noticed, the price of gasoline went way down for a while here in the northeast. With the weather so bad, all that snow and deep freezing cold, the fuel gods decided that no one would go anywhere, so let’s lower the price and get them to drive! For a change, I needed that too!

With the start of spring training, I start to feel better about things. Winter is on its way out and hello spring! The beautiful weather is near, the pool will open and bar-b-q for everyone, and I need it!

Finally, I planned a trip to sunny Southern California in late March and that means La Principessa! I will see her sweet beautiful face and all will be well again as she celebrates her first birthday! Once again, I need that!





LOOKING FOR GREAT GIFT IDEAS FOR YOUR CHILDREN OR GRANDCHILDREN?


Address: 1231 Taft Hwy, Signal Mountain, TN 37377
Hours: Open today · 10:00 am – 6:00 pm


DO YOU WATCH THE BIG BANG THEORY?
You should, its all the TV you need!


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Friday, February 27, 2015

IT’S A STEAL!


A burglar brakes into a home and starts to gather the items he wanted to steal. All of a sudden he hears, "Jesus is watching you!" He doesn't see anything in the dark, so he went on with what he was doing.
Once again he hears, "Jesus is watching you!" and now he really wonders who is saying that. He turns on the flashlight, scans the room, and finally sees a parrot.
"Did you say that?" asks the burglar.
"Yes," replies the parrot.
"What's your name?" the burglar enquires. "Moses," answers the parrot.
"That's a strange name for a parrot. Who named you that?"
"The same people who named their Rottweiler Jesus!"

He would have to die
One of the worst feelings a person can have is when someone breaks into their home and steals while they are away. The sense of anger, violation and helplessness prevails to the fullest, they worry that something is stolen that they don't realize and that the crook knows them and may strike again.

Calling the police is only good if they have insurance and need to claim, but after that nothing ever happens, usually the crook gets away with it.

Many years ago, when I was about 8 years old, I came home from school discovered our apartment had been broken into. A piece of my parent’s furniture was forced open and it was not anything but a façade. There happened to be someone in town that day by happenstance, and I to this day suspect that person. Mom was at a store my Dad ran and this person’s wife was visiting my Mother at the store which makes me convinced who it was, he was nowhere to be seen!

I entered the apartment and saw things were in disarray which I immediately realized my mother
I could make an exception
would never have left that way and even went deep into the apartment! As a child I guess I had no sense to get the hell out of there but I was just a kid.


Then years later, while working in the city, my company was broken into and someone must have had the keys for the office because the job was done cleanly. The thing that was stolen was a can of Maxwell House coffee from my shelf! Who would steal just a used can of coffee? There were other things stolen, but that was all they got out of my office. I of course was fit to be tied and seeking revenge, suspecting the whole night cleaning crew, who else could it be? That went unresolved too.

Now with alarm systems and cameras, one can identify the culprit or culprits, and will leave the sense of sweet revenge very tasty in my mouth, as I pursue their paying the price of their thievery. I am home most of the time so I watch out for strangers I see in the neighborhood, and watch then until they disappear. The same thing goes for any activity that seems out of whack in the hood. 

DelBloggolo stands guard!

 


LOOKING FOR GREAT GIFT IDEAS FOR YOUR CHILDREN OR GRANDCHILDREN?


Address: 1231 Taft Hwy, Signal Mountain, TN 37377
Hours: Open today · 10:00 am – 6:00 pm


DO YOU WATCH THE BIG BANG THEORY?
You should, its safe and secure!




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