FINALLY!

It took most of the day, but the wooden railing is finally in! Mike Simone, the guy that did it, did a wonderful job! It looks super.

Mike employed a young lady with him. She was probably a college-age kid, and she did a remarkable job. Drilling the steps to put in the balustrade, she took charge and put them all in perfectly.

I must admit; she took me surprise. I didn’t expect her to be there, as I envisioning a guy, the same one that came to make sure the measurements were correct before staining the wood. I guess he was too dainty to do the hard work.

This just goes to show you why there should be women priests, umpires and mechanics. They can do anything a man can do, except carry a 250-pound person down a ladder from a burning building, maybe. It’s funny, if I was incapacitated, and a woman could save me, I would certainly accept her help. I’d probably kiss her on the way down the ladder.

To my beautiful sister-in-law, Angela: Thanks for the Sunday cartoon; it is probably close to the truth!

A K-9 HIGHWIRE ACT NEXT?

I love my dog Happy. She has a beautiful face, loves me and is smart in many ways. Then there are times when I think: “Dumb dog!” Why this hot and cold attitude?

I have mentioned in the past how Happy rings the little bell at the bottom of our sliding door that leads to the back yard. This tells us she wants to go out. Sometimes she will just stare at me in a: “Well?’ look, meaning again, she wants to go out. She also likes to wait for me to sit down and get relaxed in my chair before doing these things, or waiting for us to sit down to eat.

Happy has a new form of making me crazy; I call it taking things to the very edge. Kind of like pushing the envelope as they say. What she usually does especially when I don’t have my shoes on is: walk along the very edge of the pool. Her head down, sniffing, she tempts fate by walking this way. She is testing whether I will rescue her or not. Happy has fallen in twice, at 4:30 in the morning during a cold frigid storm with snow on the ground! TLW (The Little Woman) had to fish her out.

We had the railing removed from the staircase and upper hall, so there is nothing there to stop one from falling over. The floors are shiny and slippery, so a dumb dog has to watch herself. What does Happy do? Happy walks along the very edges, ready to fall off the upper walkway, or off the staircase, there is no barrier! The other night she nearly did, as she struggled to grip the slippery floor, leading from my studio. Did she learn? Noooooo.

If any readers are interested in an American Cocker Spaniel, buff and white, please let me know. I can also throw in a 20 year-old #2 Son with a computer and $100 cash!

WHAT IS BUGGING HER?

The other night, I was sitting in my recliner vegetating in front of the TV. I love to vegetate: I find it relaxing. All of a sudden, TLW (The Little Woman) comes to life! Yes, she actually stirred from her coma like state and from a reclining position leaped about 4 feet into the air!

Now I was fully awake and she was air-borne.

Looking up at the ceiling I asked: “What Happened?”

“There was an ugly bug on my newspaper!” she replied.

Have you ever seen a beautiful bug? Have ever marveled at the fine lines, well cut wingspan and grace of antennae? Neither have I.

“Its only a little bug!” I said. You should be able to crush it.” I continued.
“You should have come over here and taken care of it!” she barked.

What she said holds true. Many years ago, when we were first married, we were living in a rented apartment in a two-story house. I was running later and had to catch my train to the city for work, and as I was ready to leave, high on the wall was a daddy-long-leg spider. As I ran out the door to my car, I yelled out to her; “There’s a spider on the wall in the kitchen.”

My day was a long one then. Up at the crack pf dawn, shower, dress and grab a cup of coffee, go to the Railroad station, find a parking spot and jump on the train. After two hours of train rides and subways, walking to the office and working for 8 to 10 or 12 hours, back on a subway to start the process of going home.

When I got home, there sat the spider. Hadn’t moved, didn’t seem disturbed, and TLW was making supper.

“What happened, you didn’t get the spider?” I asked.

Her reply to my question is one that I think all men have heard, but here it comes anyway.

IT IS YOUR JOB TO KILL BUGS AND SPIDERS, NOT MINE.”

So, I killed the spider.

THIS MEANS: WAR!

The other day I was discussing with TLW (The Little Woman) the need to adjust the front of the house in terms of landscaping. I was complaining that we put in a new front walkway, but it looks unfinished to my artistic sensitivity. (Big deal!)

TLW on the other hand felt the grass should come right up to the edge of the bricked walkway and that would be that.

I countered with the idea of some kind of border to line the walkway. TLW immediately made a war-like stance, legs spread and hands on hips, ready to punch me out. However, her diplomacy was put into effect.

TLW: “You want to put bricks along this edge?”
Me: “Yup.”
TLW: “You know that when you come home from a party in the hood, at Carole and MMB’s (My Man Bill) house you will have to step over the border?”
Me: “So?” (Cringingly)
TLW: “You are NEVER in any shape to climb over ANYTHING!” (I resent that, it may be true, but I resent it.)

So we compromised, we will get plants to line the edging. Me, I will go to MMB’s house this weekend for another party in the hood. When I am escorted home by TLW, I will remember to step lively and high, until the day when the plants are so tall, I have to walk around them. Here’s to plants, hops and barley.

MFF-:-(

#1 Son called last night and told me the terrible news! MFF (My Favorite Fan) Laura stepped the wrong way and messed up her ankle. This is catastrophic news to the Blog and me. Having a fan like MFF is special, and the blogger hurts for her.

MFF is a cheerful lovely lady that I had the good fortune to meet when I was out in LA visiting #1 Son back in November. She is a beautiful woman who smiles like sunshine lights up a day after it rains. She is also very thoughtful, and I consider her a very important person in my life.

She happens to be a friend of #1 Son, and is part of the Fab 5 that I’ve mentioned in the past. She has encouraged my blog; she has encouraged my writing a novel, along with the Fab 5, of which I am on Chapter 15! Thanks to them, I will pursue this endeavor to the end.

Get well soon, heal perfectly and then when I see you, we can skip along together, then I’ll buy you a drink to celebrate your healing!

WHAT, AGAIN?

If you see me on any kind of line, make a double speed attempt to find another, because you will be held up for a while. If you remember my blog on the May 15, titled “Priceless Faults”, the situation reared its ugly head once again.

TLW (The Little Woman) and I went out Sunday to shop for some art for our living room, and went to Kohl’s, a nice upscale department store to find something decorative, bold and different than what we usually do. We both fell in love with this one piece, and took it with four smaller wall hangings to accompany it.

TLW, living with me with what must feel like her whole life warned me. There is no barcode or price tag on this large piece, be prepared to wait for them to get it. I figured I don’t have to go to work on Monday, so what the hell.

Up to the cashier, we go, and I lay down all the stuff. Everything but the large piece gets rang up, and the young lady calls for Carlos to come to her register. Carlos looks like a happy go lucky guy, speaks no English, and may have arrived here by mistake. She gestures to him that we need to find the price. I tell him there is another one high on the wall in the back. He comprehends and disappears. Twenty minutes later, I know everything about the cashier, including her parent’s names, her Mom’s maiden name and how old she is. What she can’t tell me is where Carlos went.

I suggest maybe Carlos either left the country, or went on vacation and will be back in two weeks. Should I get her and TLW some lunch meanwhile? I go in the back and search for Carlos. I look where I told him to go, and sure enough there is a ladder where the other piece of art was hanging, but that is gone with Carlos. I travel back about a half mile back to the cashier and TLW. ”He is not there, but a ladder is!” state I. “Ah, says the Cashier, probably with customer relations getting a price check. He should be back by Tuesday.

Finally a miraculous thing occurs, Carlos with a small label and a discount for the Cashier to scan.

TLW and I are two happy Gringos, tired of waiting but happy.

MMB SAVES THE DAY

The other day I was putting up molding, when I came upon an unfortunate experience. The hammerhead was too big for the molding that was going under each step on the riser. The nail was a small finisher, and the hammerhead was hitting the step and the molding, while bending the nail!

After a couple of these steps going awry, I decided to take up MYB’s (My Man Bill) next-door generous offer made. He offered me his nail gun.

Marching next door in defeat and mildly angered, I ask for the gun. No, I wasn’t going to put it to my thick head. MMB is more than accommodating, offering me the gun and helping to carry over the compressor, that would blow the house down with the force it has.

After two hours of agonizing over the steps, in a half hour I had corrected everything I started, and finished the other 11 steps, the molding around the staircase and the hallway! An amazing feat, and it looked very professional! It made my day, and got me ahead of schedule.

I sat in my chair in celebration to take a short celebratory nap, when MMB shows up at the door. Surprise Bill, I’m still alive and in one piece, AND I’m done!