Sunday, October 22, 2017


As I write this I sit on the front porch in a rocking chair, watching the sun rise up and cast long shadows across the green grass and turning leaves of Cape May. The birds sing in the distance to the promise of a beautiful day, awakens all who care.

In front of me sits a flower bush reaching out from the rich soil that lends its hospitality and the soft music of silence, bearing witness to the fact that life is grand sometimes.

Today I will walk down to the sea, and listen to the soft peaceful sounds of the sea, rushing toward me and like a child teasing, slowly pull away. The aroma of the salt air will bring me closer to the awareness that life exists where we look, that even our deepest troubles will fade away in the end and that the only thing let in life will be the sea.

Today I have checked-in my ego, my desire to do anything but look and listen and to engage my senses like never before. I can hear the silence because it is pronounced, lingering and complete, and I think of those I love and have loved who no longer find me. I find the forgiveness in my heart for all who hurt me and free myself of anything but that which is time better spent.

Have a good day.

Saturday, October 21, 2017


The baseball playoffs are not over, Halloween has not arrived yet and Thanksgiving is not even in my mind, but it is 8:21 PM on October 18th and I see my first Christmas commercial of the season!

How come when it comes to advertisers, they never use Hanukkah music to sell a product, yet can use religious Christian songs to sell? This is because there is not many musical themed Jewish music the public knows about. Hopefully, it stays that way for good reason, yet we force Christianity on Jewish people.

But getting back to my complaint. A few weeks ago, I was in Costco and there in front of me stood a Christmas display! We weren't even finished with the 80-degree weather.

It seems to be my constant complaint, every fall, the invasive sales pitches using Christmas holiday as an icon or symbol to rally all the shoppers of the world and corral them into a herd of charging buyers, and they'll take cash too. Being an old man, I am as far away from getting excited as I could be. Except for my granddaughter, who I hope to see during the holidays when I will be excited as I do just for her, and the job of Santa I play, I'd like to go back to bed.


Friday, October 20, 2017


Often, I hear about someone leaving home without their cell phone.  It makes them panic and run back to get it. The cell phone is so versatile with its camera, calendar and oh yeah, the phone itself. Although for years we as a society lived without one, when it came into existence, it became a crutch.

If you need to get in touch with someone, you can text message, call or even facetime someone. Can't see behind something because your head is too large? Just take your cell phone a squeeze under of behind and take a picture, suddenly you see everything! If you need to record a date, you hit that calendar app and away you go, with the calling up the calendar, typing in all the information and even alerting others they need to be at a place on a certain date. EH.

I much rather carry a date book with me and immediately scribble in the time and event and close the book. All finished! I am more paranoid forgetting my datebook than my cell phone.

Cameras? Who needs a camera when I don't need to shoot anything? Selfies? And what will happen to all these selfies taken when I'm gone? (I'm just going to the mall for about an hour.)
I hate texting. I think texting is a waste of time Call or send an email, That is friendlier than messaging,

So, Hello 20th Century, I'm back again!

Thursday, October 19, 2017


Or am I ready to freeze off my behind?

I woke up the other day and went to my local convenience store for some milk. Looking at the temperature in the dashboard, it reads 43º F! The first day under 50 since the early Spring!

This is a wonderful thing, I hate the heat and humidity. It’s difficult to get cool but a lot easier to get warm, and the pervasive humidity stays with you all day long!

Suddenly there is a spring to my step, and ‘joie de la vie’ in my attitude! The coolness invigorates me, makes me do more than I would in the hot days of summer. My mind becomes more creative, it has more focus, I am happy.

Give me a cool day and I will draw, read, and cook all at once. No nap is needed since I am worked up to a crescendo of explosive accomplishments!

I have my own problems!
It is also the time of the year when TLW’s (The Little Woman) nose turns red from the cold. It works to our benefit when we close off the lights and head upstairs, the red glow guiding us safely to the bedroom. It is easy to find a blanket: she’s wearing them all, and a cup of tea is more suitable to my lifestyle and hers.

Now if we can only get through the winter without snow, life will be perfect!

Wednesday, October 18, 2017


Only kidding
As some of you might know, I like to spend my Sunday mornings with TLW (The Little Woman) at a dinner for breakfast. It is a nice way to get away from the usual and make it special. It makes for tolerance during the work week.

We get to the establishment at a certain hour and usually are the first to arrive and get served quickly. We chat over coffee as we wait for our breakfast and it is very calming and soothing.

I have discovered I don't like stragglers showing up while I'm eating. I know, I'm a grouch, but it seems to ruin my peace. Generally, what happens is as the stragglers come in, they pass my table and look at me and my dish. I don't like that. Then either the waiter or waitress, in an empty diner or establishment, seat them next to or behind us.

As they slide into their booths, she starts yakking and he plops his fat rear-end not only into the seat but against the back, which causes me to feel the vibrations from the moron as he settles in. Now I feel the shifting of his fat ass while she has increased the decibel level in the whole place, blocking out the overhead music she is so loud.

I would like to institute some ground rules for my happy dining experience. These are suggestions, but you really don't know if I carry a gun or not.

1. When entering, NEVER look in my eyes. Keep your head down and avoid eye contact.
2. NEVER and I can't stress this enough, NEVER look into my plate!
3. When being seated, ALWAYS ask to be seated as far away from me as possible. This should not stop you from asking for a seat in the parking lot!
4. Always ease into your seat, gently placing your fat ass without disturbing people.
5. If you must communicate, do so at a level that I can't hear.
6. Bringing children into a restaurant is socially unacceptable. If you can't leave them home, drown them before arriving.

There now, simple rules make for simple times, and Bon Appetite!

Tuesday, October 17, 2017


Mom wasn't all that much of a reader, she didn't belong to book clubs or libraries, but somehow knew a lot about life and even could quote famous people.

As a young man, I remember her warnings to me when suddenly out of the thin air a wooden spoon appeared. Later in years as we discussed her methods of persuasion about something she called: "Gentle Persuasion" she said: "Always speak softly and carry a big stick!" It was her way of saying that it's no bother for her to reach for a wooden spoon and knock some sense into me. Teddy Roosevelt may have said it first, but Mom practiced it more often.

In college, I was designing a poster for a design class. I hadn't started the lettering yet but she saw the background, a yellow field with barbed wire running across the width of the poster and she said: "Tyranny like Hell, is not easily conquered!" That WAS what I was going to letter! Mom apparently was familiar with Thomas Paine!

Mom had a knack for recalling from her childhood, remembering things she learned in her education that took her up to her high school diploma, and the shame is she never had a college education. I would bet my bottom dollar she would have excelled.

Once when I was a teenager, she was issuing warnings and such about potential trouble if I were to stray and said: "The way you make your bed, is the way you sleep in it! This apparently came from her highest authority, her Mom, Grandma Mary. Grandma Mary raised three girls by herself during the hard times of the 20's and 30's without a husband.

Mom's most memorable statements were made for my benefit, usually, after I complained about something: "Wait! Just wait till you have children!" Her other wish was the most frightening: "When you have children, I hope they're just like you!"

Monday, October 16, 2017


Finally, after finding two places closed that used to service my tuxedo needs, I discover that Men's Wearhouse and the lovely Amy exist to make me look better than usual.

Taking TLW's advice (The Little Woman), I go to the Best Buy shopping center and Bagel House of Disappointments and find Men's Wearhouse. Men's Wearhouse is situated far in the corner of this rather large strip mall that has its own zip code.
That's me, in the middle.
I arrive at the place at 9:45 AM and as I reach for the door handle, it is locked. "Oh, No!" I think. Are they closing just because I need a tuxedo? Is this a conspiracy, am I really looking at a dark store with a bolt lock in place? Then I see it, ‘STORE HOURS". They don't open until 10:00 AM.

So, what will I do for 15 minutes? Sit in my car? Nah. Wait outside the building? Nah. In the horizon, just below the rising sun, I see a bagel store. An Idea, a bagel with cream cheese and coffee, after all, it is about 3 hours since I had a bowl of cereal. I think that it is far enough to make it count as exercise, and if I return to the Men's Wearhouse after eating my bagel, that walk will double the count of exercise! I'm a genius!

I start the long walk and enter the bagel place. There is a long line, people, kids and all the noise you could ask for. Finally, I get my turn to order, I look up at the menu and it says that a bagel with cream cheese is a dollar more than a bagel with butter. Screw them, I'll order the bagel with butter. Out comes the bagel with butter and my coffee and I decided to sit in the store and eat it. I look in the bagel and notice the bagel has so little butter on it, you think maybe the moron who buttered it is a medical student. So they screwed me!

I walk back to the Men's Wearhouse and enter the store. Of course, there is a small line ahead of me and all the clerks are busy. Finally, after 20 minutes Amy my new personal tailor and the new close best friend says to me: "NEXT"! I step forward. Amy is about 5'2" with a very tight sweater with a mission, to hold ‘em and make me sweat!

I can't wait for the measurement part of the process. Never looked forward to it before, but I'm betting Amy will make me happy. She does, and when I'm happy, then I'm happy, too!

Here's the problem- I can't seem to remember what I'm happy about, but I remember this happy from before.