Sunday, November 12, 2006

OK, I CONFESS, WHERE DO I SIGN?

Yesterday at breakfast, what I always suspected of TLW (The Little Woman) was confirmed. Yes, she is a naturally born private detective! By a series of deductions, careful observations and a keen eye, she can solve some of the mysteries that can perplex any ordinary mortal.

This raises grave issues for me, as now I must be squeaky clean and have childlike innocence in my everyday life style. There is NOTHING I can hide from her!

Every Saturday morning when I get up, I find TLW sitting in her chair, either reading a book or a newspaper with a cup of coffee in her hand. I get my coffee and join her. We sit and talk and finish our coffee and she gets up to get dressed. We leave our cups next too our chairs on the table.

TLW is a southpaw, a lefty, I on the other hand (figuratively and literally) am right handed. As she makes breakfast for us, she got our cups from the den to pour coffee, and being how both our cups are from a set, she paused, and weighted which cup was which. She settled on who was who and poured. I noticed this and said: “Just pour, it doesn’t really matter or get fresh cups.” Being the Jessica Fletcher she is stated: “No, you are right handed and I’m left handed so I just check on which side of the handle the little drip runs are.”

Once we were looking for my baby sister’s new house for the first time. It had rained hard earlier and we couldn’t be sure where the house was. There was a stream of muddy water running down the road and TLW said: “Just follow the mud stream, your sister doesn’t have a lawn in yet.” She was right!

I am talking about a devout fan of: Columbo, Murder She Wrote, Monk, Macmillan and Wife, and every detective show that comes down the pike including all your CSI derivatives..

There are other occasions where this has occurred in the past that is to numerous to mention, and now it has me thinking: What the hell did I do, marry my Mother? I got married to get away from Mom’s intuition and careful observations, not to mention her impeccable timing in nailing my sorry ass to a wall every time she suspected I was up to something.

Oh well, I guess it’s the straight and narrow here on in.

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