Wednesday, May 30, 2007

ONE, TWO, SIDE STEP SIDE STEP

Off to dancing class we went! Me and TLW (The Little Woman) filled with anticipation and great hopes. Move over Fred Astair and Ginger Rodgers, here comes the fox trotting team of Joe and Ellen!

We arrive at the dance hall that is a middle school cafeteria, and await the instructor. I figured he would be Senior Eduardo, and his lovely dancing assistant and partner Natasha. Senior Eduardo with his ascot, silk fluffy blouse and long thin legs, slick black hair and pencil moustache. The lovely Natasha with her hair pulled back, big loopy earrings and long red dress with a heavy Russian accent. What we got was Edward and Sophie.

Edward, or Eddie as he likes to be called was an elderly gentleman, with grey hair and a paunch, while the lovely Sophie was a refugee from Hunger Anonymous. Behind her thick lenses she swayed and glided across the dance floor along with Eddie.

Along with about 15 other couples we stood facing each other men on one side women on the other, TLW was in her glory as we embarked on an evening on repetitious steps and orders from Eddie. Once Eddie established himself as dance tutor, we applied some of his instructions into our newly formed routine. TLW would dance with her feet too close and I would step on them to ensure we were getting our money’s worth. “Ow” or the more colloquial “Ouch” was heard more than once as we glided and pranced like robots with elbows up at the same level, no slouching, and stepping on our heels first.

Mama, you raised your son to be a dance faggot.

Only seven more classes to go!

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