The other day, I went to the telephone, that object that sits on my desk to make a call. The object of my call was some service assistance for my computer.
With a cup of coffee and a notepad and sharpened pencils, I dialed the number for my service rep.
“Thank you for using your touchtone keypad. For English; touch one, Para Espanola; dose, for operator assistance; please stay on the line.” Touching “1”, I patiently waited for the next available operator. Humming a few bars from Beethoven’s Ninth, I sipped my coffee and fiddled with a pencil. Finally, assistance arrived.
Him: Hallow?
Me: Huh??
Him: Hallow, ow mhay I hyelp hew?
Me: Hi, I’m looking install some type fonts, and for some reason they are not reading in my program.
Him: Hew av a Mock ora Peecee?
Me; I have a Mac.
Him: Verrry goood, did hew gho to preefonces?
Me: Huh? What? Give me that again. I’m sorry; I’m hard of hearing.
Him: I sade; did hew gho to seestem preefonces?
Me: Where’s that??
Him: First hew gho to hopple menu. See hoppleontop?
Me: Huh?
Him: Ontopseehoppleen corner?
Me: Hopple een?
Him; Yes! See eencorner?
Me; Totally confused; Oh, yeah, now I know what I did wrong! Thanks for your help.
Tired of all this racism against foreigners who don’t speak English and try to help you in the good old US of A?
Write to; joedelbroccolo@yahoo.com.
Tell him; “Why don’t you go back to where YOU came from, you
bigot!”
The answer to yesterday’s question: MFF (My Favorite Fan) Laura from sunny LA.
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1 comment:
Of course, the "hoppleontop" menu! Love it!
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