DelBloggolo

Friday, August 31, 2007

SHAKING A STICK


With all the bad news, we read daily, and sometimes hear, it is nice occasionally to get some good news too.

Today’s good news is that my lovely niece Jean-Marie Currier (nee; Dzicek) had a beautiful baby girl named; well let me let her Mother Fran my younger sister (or so she tells me) tell it as she did in an e-mail to me.

“Hi Everyone!
Just to let you know that I am a grandmother one
more time. Jean-Marie just had a baby girl, Grace
Lauren. She is just beautiful and all is well with
her. You will not believe that she was 8lb.11oz. It
is so hard to believe that a baby that size came out
of Jean-Marie. Both mom and the baby are doing just
great. She had the baby on Friday after being in
labor from Wednesday. It was a long ordeal, but the
great thing is everyone is doing fine.”


This makes three grandchildren for Fran, Sam her oldest, then Alley who was an ordeal when born, with heart complications that turned out well in the end and now, Grace Lauren.

If you notice, there is no mention of a husband or father, which I can vouch for there is, his name being Keith. I guess he had nothing to do with it, and wasn’t even needed. How come that always happens?

And while we are at it, how about Grandpa Tom? It was his idea to start the ball rolling.

Congratulations to the Currier family: Keith the proud Daddy, Jean-Marie the Momma, and Sam the big brother, Alley the big sister, and most of all the person who made this blog necessary today: Grace Lauren.

I noticed no one is named Joseph or Josephine! Come to think about it, there are enough kids to shake a stick at, and not one is named Joseph or Josephine.

Send all your insightful comments to:
joedelbroccolo@yahoo.com

Thursday, August 30, 2007

BEATING AROUND THE BUSH WITH A GPS


Last Friday morning, we packed ourselves off for a visit with TLW’s (The Little Woman’s) Brother Kevin and his wife Sara at their Cape May retreat. We packed two important items for the trip, one was the “Easy Pass” contraption and the other was our navigational system, the GPS.

As you know by now, TLW and GPS just don’t get along at all. It started when the GPS gave us estimated miles, which TLW felt would lead us to the Lincoln Tunnel and the noonday traffic of midtown Manhattan, which we like to avoid. Being a man of some sense, I figured I ‘d keep some peace and avoid any arguing between woman and machine and listened this time to TLW.

We decided to take the Throg’s Neck Bridge by the recalculation of the GPS and did just fine until we got into Her brother’s neighborhood, and TLW made me follow Sara’s written instructions that defied the GPS by only one turn. It didn’t really make a difference, but I think I have to start separating TLW and the GPS for some peace and quiet on long trips.

On the way home, I decided that I would give the GPS its full turn and follow its instructions to the letter. Big mistake! It leads me to the George Washington Bridge and a huge traffic tie-up. The revenge of the GPS was in full swing.

To make matters worse, TLW says that all her friends keep the GPS in the glove compartment, and don’t take it out when it is needed, it is read automatically, and since our GPS is not attached because I use it in my car too, she decided to test the theory just as we approach the toll off the bridge. Mind you, there are fifty million cars lined up behind me, and I can’t go anywhere but through the gate. “Just for the hell of it” says TLW “let’s just put it down and see”.

THE GATE DOESN”T GO UP!

We are stuck in front of sixty million drivers who want to pass. I see the frustration in the driver behind me. Suddenly an urge to strangle has come over me. What can I do??? I decide that if maybe there is enough room behind me, I could backup a little and maybe, just maybe the gate would go up after we stick the GPS up once more.

Cringing and praying I back the car up looking in the rear view mirror at seventy million angry drivers. The gate shoots up!

I’m not a religious man, but come Saturday I’m finding a synagogue to pray in, then a Muslim temple and two churches on Sunday and give thanks.

I’m leaving the “Easy Pass”, GPS and TLW home.

Biting comments and nasty observations can be channeled through:
joedelbroccolo@yahoo.com

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

MY BIG PROMOTION

The other day TLW (The Little Woman) decided it was time for me to do the shopping. No, not just a loaf of bread and a container of milk, but the week’s worth of shopping. On top of that, she was sending me solo! This is a big step in my development as a husband. How many guys out there are trusted to do this?

She gave me a wad of 20’s and said: “Go to it.”

I stepped out into the cold world of Stop and Shop with a list and a pen to cross off as I progressed, and immediately, if not sooner there was trouble.

When I entered the hallowed alleys of Stop and Shop, the first thing to greet me was the bakery department. I never knew that donuts could talk, let alone call out to me. Out of curiosity I strolled over to the case where they were being held prisoner, thinking I could free one or two, when suddenly as an apparition, TLW’s face appeared in front of me. The wheels to my shopping cart became frozen, everything was in slow motion, an eerie like slow motion took over and I could hear the dream like nightmarish yell of NOOOOOOO!

I pulled over to the candy aisle to get a grip on myself. Suddenly I could feel the quickness of my heartbeat as it paced itself upward in beats per second, my hand reaching for the 3 lbs. bagged spearmint leaves for a $1.99, while Dr. Hauer my physician began reading my diabetic progress report, while looking sternly and disgustedly at me.

I decided that I really had to move onward, to the soaps and can goods to save myself from self-destruction and a lecture or two. I mean, that’s all I need; TLW and the good Doctor both on my case at the same time.

Tonight when TLW comes home and asks how I did, I can look her squarely in the eyes and say; “Pretty good, pretty, pretty good.”
Of course I will be happy I didn’t succumb to temptation, but weirdly enough, I wish I had.

Send all your hateful comments to hell, or e-mail them to
joedelbroccolo@yahoo.com

Tomorrow: BEATING AROUND THE BUSH WITH A GPS

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

A GOOD GUY WINS!


Good to be back again, although I must say I am disappointed that my great weekend is over. The handsome couple you see above is my beautiful sister-in-law, Sara, and her husband (The Little Woman's older Brother) Kevin, or should I say Dr. Kevin Manning.

Dr. Manning is the President of Villa Julie College (Soon to be a university) located near Baltimore, Maryland. http://www.vjc.edu/

As for my sister-in-law Sara, she is an executive in the marketing of and distributing info for the American Mushroom Institute. Her work is vital because I love mushrooms, and they do feed the world. In fact, Sara was dying to interview me, as she has never interviewed a talking mushroom before, but I declined the offer.

The Manning’s’ are the proud parents of three beautiful children, who are in a class of their own, bright, good-looking grownups that would make any parent proud. There is Elizabeth their sweet daughter. who looks like Dad and has two beautiful children with her husband Michael, Meghan their second child who has the most beautiful eyes this side of heaven, getting married at the end of this coming May ’08 to a very lucky fellow named Harry and their son, Kevin, tall handsome and a real gentleman who is working out his own career right now.

As for Dr. Manning, whom I will refer to as Kevin, he is quite a success story. As a contemporary of mine, it gives me special pride to point out a few things about him in his meteoric rise to success. It wasn’t easy, but he had a great determination, a belief in himself, and a great support staff in his family. They too should be commended for the sacrifice they endured on the way to the top. It wasn’t poverty, but it was hard work, experiencing rejection for inexperience, and then the great reward of perseverance and a college making a great choice, one that has been reaping huge benefits ever since for Villa Julie. It was Villa Julie's pure luck, for Kevin it was what God Intended.

I distinctly remember the day of Kevin’s installation as president of Villa Julie. A parade of faculty, board members and honor students grandly marched down the long aisle. The pomp and circumstance of it all, the march of triumph that best expressed the emotion of the day, and the glory of a common man making good in a truly valuable way for mankind, one that will benefit the college for years and years to come from his stewardship.

But if you take the guy away from the school, away from the pressures of leadership, you find a person of humble beginnings, only too happy to entertain you, and offer whatever he and Sara have, they are truly in love and there is a lot of truth in their love for each other and their family. But most of all, that love carries beyond the family boundaries and into your heart and soul.

So for once, a good guy wins, for once a beautiful family prospers, and for once the whole world should stand up and applaud.

joedelbroccolo@optonline.net

Thursday, August 23, 2007

TOMORROW, TOMORROW


Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow, will be cloudy.

Why do I say such a thing? Because TLW (The Little Woman) and I are planning to go out to Montauk Point and watch the sunrise come up from out of the East, and I just know the weatherman has predicted fog and overcast conditions. We are hoping for a break at that time. The trip takes one and a half hours to make, but I don’t care, I’ll be with my favorite gal!

After (God willing) the sunrise, we will have a little breakfast at some little out of the way place, maybe near the water, then leisurely drive back toward the house, with maybe a stop or two along the way.

Then tomorrow evening we will go for a little dinner somewhere, and maybe just enjoy each other’s company for a change. Perhaps we will go somewhere before dinner and have a drink or a cup of coffee and get reacquainted once again. If I weren’t already married to her, I would have asked her again.

I am a great believer in romance, and romancing TLW, I remember all the dates including the day we got engaged, why, because they were great days for me, and some of the happiest moments I can remember.

This weekend we will drive off to Cape May to visit TLW’s older brother Kevin, a president of Villa Julia College out in Townsend Maryland, where we spend a few days.

So, I will take a few days off from writing to you all, but unfortunately, for you, I will return either Monday or Tuesday.

Register complaints (watch your language) at
joedelbroccolo@yahoo.com

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

GIVE HER ONE WEEK AND SHE’LL CHANGE THE WORLD

TLW (The Little Woman) has taken a weeks vacation from her wannabe bank, and in the process has turned the garage inside out, and is now so clean you could put a car in it and close the door!

When TLW schedules a vacation, I try to spend it somewhere else, out of earshot of her commands. This years dedication to the garage is truly awe inspiring and it should be noted that she does these things with a dogged determination. (What does that really mean?) She pretty much did it all on her own, like a dynamo that has enough energy to run the eastern seaboard of the USA, Canada and Mexico.

When she gets started, you don’t see anything of her, she becomes a little swirl of action or motion, with occasional barks of command, but everything you do for her is done with a good purpose, and she gets good results.

Somehow, I knew this would happen. TLW has lots of nervous energy once she is charged up, and just don’t get in her way. Not being able to relax on any day, she rolls up her sleeves and off she goes. She starts off in the morning exercising her brain, usually at 4:30 AM, thanks to our dog awakening her, doing the puzzles she finds in the morning newspaper, then has a little cereal, off for a short nap, then BOOM! Like a nuclear bomb; she goes off and that’s all she wrote as she tackles a major project.

I can get like that, but try not to anymore, although I do find hard work fascinating, (I can watch it for hours) I usually like to do it alone, with no one in the house.

Today while we were eating lunch she stated: “Now your assignment is to clean the basement.” For TLW I will do anything.

If you wish to send me condolences:
joedelbroccolo@yahoo.com

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

THE BETTER HALF


You have all heard of the phrase; “Your better half” but I know I never knew what it meant until I woke up one day and found out!

Every night or should I say early in the wee hours of the morn, TLW (The Little Woman) and I joust, struggle, position and try to out maneuver each other for the blankets while in bed. She has her strategies, and I have mine.

It generally starts by each of us trying to lull the other party to sleep, to get an immediate upper hand. TLW has been studying the warfare strategies of Erwin Rommel in the desserts of North Africa, while I was studying Kim Basinger and her strategies of beach wear.

Obviously, I’m not winning.

I find myself awaken in the middle of the night, with an angry LW next to me, trying to wrestle the covers away from me, by resorting to sheer will power, mighty attempts at physical takeover and the more subtle strategies of gently pushing me over to grab more blanket.

This is a war of attrition, I figure she is trying to freeze me out, collect on the insurance without being charged with murder since it will look like I just froze to death, and then she will find a younger husband!

I am losing the war, and she will be crowned the “Better half” for winning it.

The soontobtlatejoedelbroccolo@yahoo.com

Monday, August 20, 2007

THE BIG TRAIN

No, not Walter Johnson the great pitcher, but Bob Train the great picker and shipper.

It all started in the summer ’64, as I worked at Rollic in Patchogue for my Dad in a factory-shipping department. Climbing wooden bins that went to 20 or so feet, reading from orders, I would select different sizes, colors and styles of children’s play-clothing that was sent to a Sears store near you. I would seal the boxes after the packers sent them down a long conveyor belt and there I taped and glued labels on them, then weighted them for shipping and marked them for the different trucking firms that came to pick them up.

Standing one day at my station, my Dad appears suddenly one Monday morning with this tall, gangling handsome fellow and introduced him to me. We became instant friends. Bob had an accent that came from somewhere out west in these great United States, but where I can’t recall. With his height and good looks, he also took to work a very intelligent mind and a great sense of humor, which we would put to good use, over and over again.

Bob was attending Stony Brook University that coming fall, while I would be attending The New York Institute of Technology. We were the only two college kids there that summer, as everyone else barely got out of second grade, coming from poor families, and having to work early in their childhoods.

Between conversations about Debussy, Dave Brubeck and famous film makers and artists, we would scheme ways to amuse ourselves and make the hard long and hot days of labor fly by. Both of us were working to pay our tuition and a little spend money. After hours on a Friday we would go to Patchogue and eat at a Chinese restaurant, or go to a club where music was playing for a few beers.

One day things were getting kind of quiet at the old factory, and we had to “look busy” as Dad would say, when we decided to make empty promises to Sears. There was this special deal that Rollic made with Sears where we would ship at a discount certain styles in quantities that were called; “Pre-Packs.” We decided to make a bunch with nothing in the boxes, stack and mark them up for shipping, and put them in the shipping lanes for trucking.

After admiring our handiwork, we had a good laugh when all of a sudden the “Old Man” comes, THE BOSS himself, owner and Lord of the Universe called Rollic. Seeing all these pre-packs standing there, piled up and ready to go, he decided to pull one down! Expecting to find about 25 lbs. of clothing, and bracing himself for it, instead he almost pulls a muscle as the box comes off so easy he almost falls back. Grabbing the box now in two hands he raises it over his head, and yells: “Goddammit Tony, I don’t think this is funny,” and slams the box down.

Poor dad, if I had worked alone, and it happened, you would not be reading this now. But being how I was assisted by my protégé Bob Train, all had to be forgiven, because Dad had a high regard for Bob. It was my idea, but was Bob’s enthusiasm that made my day. Of course, it almost killed the “Old Man.”

A few years later, after we were ready to graduate from college, Dad was notified that the FBI wanted to speak with him in the front office! Dad of course wondered if I was behind this inquiry. It seems they were running a background check on Bob who applied for aviation school with the U.S. Navy or Air Force.

I wish I had kept in touch with Bob; maybe he would have given me a ride in his jet.

joedelbroccolo@yahoo.com

Sunday, August 19, 2007

GONE HI-TECH

Went into the local Waldbaum’s to purchase an item for dinner this morning, found what I wanted and proceeded to the checkout area. Being how it was early, about 8:00 A. M., only one checkout was open and it was occupied buy someone with a large shopping cart filled to twice it’s size, and had just gotten there. Well, I didn’t want to hang around and wait and was tempted to put my selection back and go home.

While contemplating my options, I see a sign hanging from the ceiling: “Self checkout here” and immediately a cold shiver goes up and down my spine! My Gawd! I’m too young to check out, and if it is self –imposed, TLW (The Little Woman) will never collect from the insurance company.

Being a brave soul, I decide to go over there to try to talk anyone who might have ideas of checking out by themselves, not to do it. As I get closer, I suddenly realize what it’s all about. YOU, check out your items without the help of a cashier. Immediately the shivers up and down the spine return! Me alone, out in the world with TLW just doesn’t seem to work always, and for me to follow instructions on some contraption is even worst news for me than I can handle.

Self-consciously and with great trepidation, I look at the menacing computer screen, looking around I figure if no one is about, and I screw up, I just drop everything and run. The screen has English and Spanish, just like Canada, another bi-lingual country. I push “English” and suddenly the screen comes alive, and a rather bossy sounding ladies voice starts telling me what I have to do.

“Scan item over scanner.”
“Place item in bag”
Sign on the screen asks if I’m paying in cash or credit card, dollars or pesos and if it is cash, please hurry up. I fumble for my wallet, looking for the bill to pay it; all I have is a twenty. I look at how the machine wants the bill placed and I insert it into the bill receptor. I think that the bill will be rejected, I will never see the $20 again, and I will wind up arguing with the store manager.

The computer sucks in the money and on the screen registers the transaction. Now the bossy voice takes over again.

"Take your change from the change receptacle, and your cash from the cash slot, take your receipt from the top right and take your purchase and get out."

Typically, another woman’s voice bossing me around.

You may voice your dissatisfaction with this blog at:
joedelbroccolo@yahoo.com

Saturday, August 18, 2007

THE INSPECTOR GENERAL…

TLW (The Little Woman) is a tough customer. It seems that she has to make suggestions that could be fatal. The other night I was making a salad and she comes up to my sphere of influence to offer a suggestion! Now I don’t mind suggestions, even when she tells me to go shit in my hat. However I like an educated consumer, especially one that is consuming what I make for dinner at night.

Preparing a salad, and being in the first phase, the dry phase I call it, there in the bottom of the prep bowl was chopped fresh garlic and hand picked fresh basil. These are essential ingredients to any of my Italian style garden salads. TLW comes up to me, looks in the bowl and announces that I should also put in basil! Yes, you read that right. Basil. Butting in and bossing me around again, TLW was in fine form.

I calmly stated that there was basil in the bowl already. (I really don’t like to be questioned, and find it irritating when someone tells me the obvious.)

TLW: “Oh, I though it was parsley.”

Parsley?! IN MY SALADS!

The kind and loving man that I am, gently and calmly informed her that I would never put parsley in my salads.

I could hear a distant voice, almost a murmur in the wind that said: “GO SHIT IN YOUR HAT, FATHEAD.”

If this is not enough to shut down the DelBloggolo Culinary Institute, I must leave open any cookbook I use to make a dish, so she, TLW can review the points allocated per serving, the calories, and how many the recipe serves.

All fat content becomes extremely scrutinized as she questions my ability to follow that part of the recipe.

Imagine.

Although she compliments most things I cook for her every evening, it does leave me unsettled that she would question my fat integrity. And to think with my cooking, following recipes that she selected from her books, she has lost over 35 pounds! Could I be cheating?

I for one rest my case, while I find a clean hat.

joedelbroccolo@yahoo.com
Your comments are welcomed at this address.

Friday, August 17, 2007

I’LL HAVE TOASTED, KISS, KISS

As if August 14th’s rant about role reversal wasn’t enough, here comes another.

As the usual custom goes in my crib, TLW (The Little Woman) will after dinner get in her car and go and buy us both a container of decaf. Sometimes she goes to 7-eleven, and sometimes she goes to my favorite, Dunkin Donuts. When I can, I ask her to get me a regular coconut covered donut, and she usually gets herself one of the toasted coconut kinds. Not every night do we eat donuts, but on occasion, the donuts are bought.

Tonight as we were finishing up supper, TLW says: “Tonight you are going to go for the coffee.” Feeling rather happy about some financial news I got from my financial advisor, I was willing to do anything. I asked her if she wanted anything, and she said: “No” so here is $2.89 exactly for the coffee.

Still feeling good I said: “Keep your money, it’s on me.” Then I said: “I’m going to Dunkin Donuts to buy the coffee.”

An immediate and passionate cry came from TLW! “OOOOOH, you are?”

“Yes” I responded, knowing full well what was coming next.
TLW: “Then get me a toasted coconut donut!” as she kisses me twice on the lips.

“I can’t believe how much you are getting like me!” said I.

TLW: “Exactly.”

joedelbroccolo@yahoo.com

Thursday, August 16, 2007

THE SCOPE OF COLONOSCOPY INQUIRIES

Two years ago I went for a colonoscopy and they removed a polyp or two, so today I had to go back. Went to see Rear Admiral Spielberg for a pre-colonoscopy check-up, After waiting about a half hour with a lot of old people that were waiting for another doctor who shares the waiting room with my doctor, I couldn’t help but wonder if I am heading that way too.

One old guy had varicose veins that look like they are from map quest. In fact I think he was flashing downtown Hartford on his left thigh!

There was another old guy that shuffled in, very slowly looking around at the people in the waiting room, and he looked annoyed that he was going to wait. I kept looking at him wondering I knew him, looking familiar to me I was tempted to start up a conversation when I finally realized he looked like me when I get to be his age! Soar, with terse thin lips, and a bad attitude in a doctor’s waiting room.

There was a couple there that I found amusing. The husband came in tall and thin; with I think orthopedic socks, and a very ugly hat. The man weighed about six pounds and was very tentative to his wife, who went to the front window while he found a chair. After she did her business at the sign-in she sat down to fill out some checks, and he asks her for her pocketbook! His shoes did not match! She was all in greens while he was in dark browns and tans with a very ugly black and white hat.

When I finally met the doctor, he started to ask questions, and one of the questions was what I drank and how it was constituted.

“You drink Jack Daniels?”
“Yup. Jack Daniels Manhattans.”
“Do you use any Vermouth?”
“Yes, I do.”
“What are the proportions?”
“One half to one.”
“Ever drink the Jack Daniels straight?”
“No, er uh, sometimes.” (Remembering a couple of parties recently and a dinner last Sunday.)

I DIDN’T WANT A LECTURE OR A DRINK FOR THAT MATTER.

Tomorrow I have lunch with my old pal Bill Wortman, a creative genius that helped build the empire that is Publishers Clearing House when he wrote some very convincing copy.

joedelbroccolo@yahoo.com

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

WOW!

My niece is a WOW! From a little redheaded baby to a grown-up, she has transfigured into an exceptional woman.

Sunday TLW (The Little Woman) and I were invited to her home to see the amazing transformation of her new home. New in the sense that she now owns a home, and yet she grew up in it, purchasing it after she was married from her Mom.

But there is a bigger story here. When she went to contract on the house and had the termite inspection, termites were found and weren’t paying rent, and so, severe structural damage was done to the corner of two outer walls that meet and an inner wall all related in one room, the kitchen.

Disappointed and upset my niece, Annmarie and her husband Greg set about rectifying a bad situation with careful planning and a lot of tears, and when they were done, that old saw; from a sows ear to a silk purse became a reality. With the help of Greg’s Dad, Larry Schneider and Greg’s brothers and a lot of love, transformation was the order of the day, and not only were the repairs done, but the house has been redesigned, eliminating walls and opening up space to make a remarkable looking and professionally done repair and redesign effort. Although repairs are on going, all will be successful.


New paint schemes were instituted, and choice of colors so sophisticated they really make you stand up and applaud the decorating skill of my niece and nephew, and to continue to wow us, she then went to work in her kitchen, making a great meal of Penne ala Vodka, and in the process, tried to get me drunk on Lemoncello and Jack Daniels.

So, what have we here? We have my niece who inherited her Mother’s beautiful face to some degree, her Grandmother’s knack for the pots and pans and their successful usage, and the understanding that her Uncle Joe is a drunk, while exhibiting a very real sense of art and modern design in the home.

Greg, you are one lucky guy!

joedelbroccolo@yahoo.com

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

YOU TAKE SESAME, I TAKE POPPY

Now that TLW (The Little Woman) has gone to work and I stay at home, there seems to be some roll reversal going on!

TLW comes home, looks at the mail, eats and falls asleep in her chair. This was a lot funnier when I did it to TLW, but not any more. If I awaken her now, it better be because either: I have a snack for her, or the house is on fire.

Now let’s expand this a little further, shall we? In the morning, when I came down from my morning shower before leaving for work, I would sit with a cup of coffee and a newspaper, stare out into space and wish I wasn’t going out in the traffic, having a stuffy meeting somewhere, or in a hurry to meet a deadline. Today, TLW sits with a sleepy scowl, coffee in hand, wishing SHE didn’t have to go anywhere.

While at the office, on occasion I would call and there would be two questions I would ask: “Any mail?” And “What’s for dinner?” TLW puts a different spin on it: “Any interesting mail?”

When I came home from work, I looked at the mail, got a drink, or TLW made me one (she’s Irish), and I sat down to eat, and answered her questions, listened to her complaints or neighborhood and family gossip. Today she comes home, gets a drink (she’s still Irish) and reads the mail, and I pry out of her how her day went.

The only thing I can’t get her to do is watch a ballgame, but then that would mean I would stop!

joedelbroccolo@yahoo.com

Monday, August 13, 2007

JOE DEL BLOGGOLO*

There you have it! The truth has come out. I am using right now as I write this blog a performance-enhancing drug! I’m on “IBs” or Ibuprofen; you see I have a headache. IB sounds like it is illegal so it helps my ego here.

I think I will never hit 61 homeruns in 162 games or 756 homers overall to earn an asterisk, but I could use a good scandal for the blog. I think IBs are the best I can do. Work with me here.

There are other events in my life that might need an asterisk, but nobody would care to know about them. There is Selma Salloway, and the back seat of my Brother-in-law’s Ford when I was still single, but then I can’t relate that just yet because I am still living.

From what you have read in the past about me, life can be humdrum and uneventful or it could be full with people and experiences that defy reasonableness. It’s the latter that needs an asterisk, although most of the asterisks sit in the former.

Then of course there is the floor in #2 Sons room, and the amount of days that the floor has not seen daylight, and my wondering if he will be swallowed up before TLW (The Little Woman) comes to his rescue, but again, who would care?

So move over Roger Maris and Barry Bonds, DelBloggolo has an asterisk too!

joedelbroccolo@yahoo.com

Sunday, August 12, 2007

MANGIA SPEGHETTI


There is a lot of truth in the idea of comfort foods for individuals that live long enough to appreciate them.

We see a dish and it reminds us of our childhood, growing up with Mom and Dad, sitting at the table enjoying ourselves, but not realizing it until it no longer exists, and we are far removed from it.

For TLW (The Little Woman) it is turnips, for me it is my Moms Italian Sausage stuffing for turkey (which TLW makes just as well), and even now in my twilight years, my wife’s steak pizziola, which she hasn’t made in 500 years because of the fat content.

But you know it goes even further than foods, smells are part of the comfort zone that I have. Every time I smell fresh basil, I think of Sundays at my Grandmother’s house in Brooklyn, her cooking with fresh basil from her garden, the smell before she threw it into her cooking, the screen door opening and closing shut, her picking it and the screen once again opening and slamming shut, her flip flops flapping on the tiled floor, and the happy conversations in English and Italian, the pitch raised from a murmur to elation to sometimes indignation,

There are sounds that bring back the comfort of times past, when I am on the verge of falling off on a lazy Sunday morning in the summer, I hear a sound or word that I immediately go back to my past and remember. For me to remember is to pay tribute to those that gave me a culture, and past and filled my life with happiness.

Today, when the phone rings, and the magic words: “Daddy!” come over the line, I am immediately taken back to little league fields of dreams, playing catch with a football in the fall on a cold grey afternoon on a weekend, or just tossing a nerf ball in the living room while TLW waits for something to break.
Whenever I drive through the town of East Islip, I am carried back to the past, when my in-laws were alive, the sweet days before marrying TLW and the informality of it all.

You should really live each moment to the fullest, laugh when you can, dream often and remember, remember, remember.

I often get teased by my wife and kids that I can remember what I ate on some obscure date in the past, and although that may be true to some degree, they fail to realize that I remember because I enjoyed it. But I remember too the times I had, the people I met and the things I did that make life so grand.

When I am on my death bed, I will draw on the memories and get the comfort I need from them, and maybe I will smile the last few moments, knowing I lived a great life because of those I love, and the things I did.

joedelbroccolo

Saturday, August 11, 2007

EVERYBODY IS IN THE ACT


There seems to be web sites for just about everything and everyone, including the blogs that now proliferates through out the Internet.

This morning for example, TLW (The Little Woman) told me of a house on the street that has a web address the same as the actual snail mail address! It list pictures of the inside and out, all the pertinent facts about the domicile, and yes it is for sale.

At some point in time individuals will all have their own web sites, and it will have a description of physical attributes and physical health both inner and outer. It might even be required by law to have you posted on the net. “Joe Schmoe, 159 lbs, earning $160,000 yearly as a clerk in Stop and Shop, married, 3 children, one of each. Doctors give Joe Schmoe about 42.5 years more, and will die of boredom or high blood pressure, depending how his kids behave” We will know the car he drives and even his tastes in food, and probably his inner fears.

With pictures and charts of Joe will come testimonials and anecdotes about Joe, with a side bar headed; “DID YOU KNOW?”
Under that column will be little known facts about Joe that no one ever knew before except his wife or main squeeze.

The only thing missing will be his social security number, but cell-phone and house phones will all be listed, including where to reach at what times of the day, clothing sizes and whatever else there is.

It seems that we really need to have all the information we can gather and put it up on the Internet in the form of a web page, so we can at that point, never look at it or use it again.

Is this blog a good example or not?

joedelbroccolo@yahoo.com

Friday, August 10, 2007

AND THE DOCTOR SAID…

I went to the Doctor today for my annual physical, and he was annoyed and embarrassed. Seems that the x-ray lab never sent him the results of the x-rays taken 3 weeks ago. On top of that he never went over the results of the colonoscopy that I took n October of 2005, where they found polyps!

Being how today was a real break from the heat and humidity, I decided I would clean all the bathrooms from top to bottom and then wash all the floors downstairs. I set up everything to start on the bathrooms when #2 Son, The Little Woman’s pet project stated he was going to take a shower! Well after arguing about when he would take it, I won out and he took it immediately. I think he has to learn not to imitate the dog, and wait for me to be ready to do something before he disturbs me.

One of my nephews, Marc, a social studies teacher from Connecticut one of my older sister Fran’s kids, is getting married on August 1st of 2008! Met the girl, and she seems wonderful, attractive and intelligent. They said that about The Little Woman, and look whom she married! The young lady he is marrying is named Nicole, another teacher. We have so many teachers in both sides of the family, between TLW and me, that when we get together and one must leave the room, you have to raise your hand and ask permission! Also there is no gum chewing allowed.

Meanwhile life goes on, I’m reading a lot, and have a few art projects in the planning stages as well as a blog on sports.

joedelbroccolo@yahoo.com

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

I AM SO UNWORTHY

Yes indeed, I am humbled, taken for a spanking, an ah, ah, ah on the buttkiss, by TLW (The Little Woman).

If you read my trials and tribulations from yesterday, (JUGGLING MY SANITY) you know I had not gotten a resolution to my problem after calls to all the geeks concerning my TV. Well it turns out TLW found the problem, and we (me) are very grateful to her (TLW).

TLW: “You know Joe, for the last three days I’ve been thinking about the TV, and I think maybe the problem is the Tivo setup.”

Me: “ You think so??? I was wondering that because of the way the TV changed the channel on us before it all started. I hope so, because I spent a whole day trying different combinations with the cable and TV.”

TLW: “maybe I should reboot the Tivo.”

Me: “Good idea!”

Moments later, after the reboot: “Joe, look!”

Me: “Now see if the closed caption works.”

TLW: “You’re welcomed.”

Me: “No, no, I’m grateful, this is terrific, congratulations!. (Big kiss on the lips.)

Ten minutes later: TLW; “I really feel proud of myself, I think I’ll call my sister and brothers.”

After considerable preening, prancing and strutting she says, “I don’t care about anything, after all, I fixed the TV problem.”

Suddenly I feel unworthy, unimportant and unnecessary, knowing all I fixed was dinner.

If you like, you can send congratulations to TLW at:

ellendelbroccolo@yahoo.com

As for me, I’m looking for another place to live, alone.

joedelbroccolo@yahoo.com

JUGGLING MY SANITY

Did you ever have a situation where everything happens at once, where just moments ago nothing was happening? It happened to me today, and I must say it is not the first time it has.

It seems that our HDTV cable connection was acting up. First I thought it was the TV hookup, so I called the store where we purchased it, they said they couldn’t help me to call the TV manufacturer. I call the TV manufacturer and they say it is the cable company that has the problem. I call the cable company, spend a whole hour explaining the problem, to finally realize that the geek didn’t understand what I wanted, and said to call the TV manufacturer. I must admit they, the store, TV manufacturer and the cable wished me a nice day.

While I was on the phone holding for the cable company, my call waiting starts to beep and annoy me. I will not answer the call waiting while waiting for the cable geek and the cable connection are being rebooted.

To add to my pleasure in all this, there is a per son standing at my door, what he or she wanted I don’t know, but I will not answer the call waiting while waiting for the cable geek and the cable connection are being rebooted. I guess it is a matter of principle.

Hey, I’m not finished yet, the dog wanted to go out! I just might take the time to kill the dog, after I finish killing the cable geek.

I really think God is messing with my mind, and thinks everything he does to me is funny.

Joedelbroccolo@yahoo.com

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

STARBUCKS IN THEIR EYES

Attending a meeting the night before with a couple of hundred other members of the Board of Governors, I had a drink prior to the cocktail hour, stood around making small talk for an hour, dinner and then a meeting that lasted until 10:30 P.M. Following a “nightcap” with my fellow board members before retiring for the to my room for the evening it was now 11:30 P.M.

I climbed into bed and watched the hours drift by, watching the digital turn of the hours, moving about restlessly, afraid at one point of falling asleep and missing my meeting, or worst still, my breakfast. I arose early, about 5:30 A.M., and decided to get a cup of coffee to start my day along. The night before was rough and I hadn’t sleep well in the strange bed at the Marriott in Albany.

Looking around the room I noticed that there was no coffee pot or coffee maker of any kind in view and decided to go down to the lobby and look for some coffee. I showered and dressed and rode the elevator down to hopefully brighten my day and awaken from the lack of sleep.

Finding a Starbucks and being a cheap SOB, I decide on a small coffee, which Starbucks calls large as oppose to their giant size. The price says $2.25, I order the coffee and the gal rings it up, I give the woman $3.00, and she gives me 6ç change! I check the sign, its still $2.25, I enquire as to the discrepancy; she acts surprise, and checks the sign. “Oops!” she says and corrects herself by giving me .75ç change.

Trying to recover from the sticker shock of the overpriced coffee whatever it is they charged, I find a nice quiet spot in the lobby to just sit and sip. Thinking: “Almost $100 for a cup of lousy coffee, I sip a little. All of a sudden a high school girl comes over with a suitcase and stands by my chair. Soon two more and they start arriving in twos and threes, with luggage, ipods, laptops, sodas, candy bars all at 6:15 A.M.! I’m thinking; “all I want to do is drink my $200 cup of coffee.”

The noise level increases as I think I fell I’m in the 7th Avenue subway stop of the E Train in Manhattan, and with my $300 cup of coffee go back to my room, purchasing a newspaper as I go by the desk.

I juggle my $400 cup of coffee and find my key card to enter the room, and throw the paper down on the couch, and open the doors for the first time on the TV Armoire. I almost drop my $500 cup of coffee! There sitting next to the TV is a coffee maker and two packets of instant coffee, with cups and CoffeeMate! And to think I paid $600 for a lousy cup of stinking Starbuck Coffee!

joedelbroccolo@yahoo.com

Monday, August 06, 2007

FINALLY A DECENT DAY

The heat finally abated from the norm of mid 90’s and the humidity took a day off, but as I am writing this, the heat and humidity seem to be creeping up again!

Today, all day, I’ve had my good buddy and best friend Phil on my mind, and was meaning to call him to see that everything was OK with him, when the phone rings tonight and who is it but Phil! It kind of freaked me out as they say. But I was glad to hear from him and know that all is well.

Yesterday, TLW (The Little Woman) asked me to go to the mall with her to get a little walking exercise in from the big sizzler breakfast we had that morning. As we walked she asked me to go to JCPenney to look at some jeans for #2 Son. She reminded me that the last time I was there, I went into convulsions, trying to deliberately swallow my tongue and to try not to do it this time around. Not remembering why I went, pretending that I remembered, up we go in the escalator and into the boy’s department. I start looking around and immediately it hits me. They are selling used jeans for new prices, and not only are they doing it, but John Deere is getting in on the act! Deere has a line of baseball caps that are all nicked in the visor in the same places, and you are going to pay $20 for the privilege. Pardon my French but no (*&^#$% way!

Then the jeans have worn threads and holes, all top dollar. I have a fortune in outer-ware that I should be flaunting, not mending. I mean how dumb is it to buy jeans that look 5 years old, and like they have been worn every day for the last five years?

I know, I’m not cool.

joedelbroccolo@yahoo.com

Sunday, August 05, 2007

I’VE BEEN ROBBED, OR IS THAT ROBED?

The other day, TLW (The Little Woman) announced that I was taking her to breakfast on Saturday, and that she had a coupon to buy the “Big Sizzler” and get a “Big Sizzler” free! So in essence I would only be paying for one breakfast!

After the shock of knowing Saturday Morning was going to cost me money, I said, and I quote: “OK” unquote.

The big day comes and we arrive at Friendly’s artery busting, vein clogging branch in Ronkonkoma, and are seated, and the waitress arrives to take our order. Now before I go any further, I would like to state that I am not making fun of this woman, it’s just that she took me by surprise, and I haven’t been surprised like that since 6th grade and my substitute teacher Mrs. Paisley. Her head was turned toward TLW, but her eye was looking at me. When she asked: “What would you like?” I thought she was talking to me, and I was about to answer when TLW responded. Confused, I waited until TLW was finished talking and the waitress then turned her head toward me, that I noticed one eye was pointed at me and the other away. Well, this kind of threw me off stride a little, but I thought: “How convenient, she can look at two tables at once!” Now I apologize for thinking that, and I know it is cruel, but these things happen to me unfortunately, and I am ashamed of myself.

Anyway, as we are sitting there just starting to eat our big sizzling breakfast, as a couple comes in and passes our table, and as they do, the woman kind of looks at me like she might know me, or maybe self-consciously thinking; “don’t make fun of my girth” (I KNOW, I FEEL BAD AGAIN), and I say: “Hi, remember me?” As I say these words, I can’t help but think of the lady I saw in a Lowe’s store who I mistakend for my old neighbor, who was actually the church organist. But that’s a tale best left untold. Well she was the right person and we chattered a little bit, and needless to say, with that little triumph of mine, I felt confident until I mistaken another person in the future.

Finally finishing breakfast, I get the bill and it comes to $18.40, which includes the tax and $1.75 each for two coffee and refills! I take out my coupon and put it with a $10 bill and the check. TLW looks at it and says: “Is that enough?” I say “yes” and read the items off. TLW informs me that the free means only the breakfast, not the coffees or the tax!

I WUZ ROBBED!

I ask her, is there one or two “B’s” in robbed?

joedelbroccolo@yahoo.com

Saturday, August 04, 2007

ANOTHER SURPRISE VISIT!


Well after TLW (The Little Woman) had surprised me by coming home early, turning my game plan upside for the day, I decided to get back to business. Today the Mets play a daylight afternoon game at 2:00 pm, and with a pre-game jump into the pool, it was shaping up as a nice day.

Up to my studio go I, to read the latest e-mails from all those that hate me, when I hear the front door open! I know that #2 Son is fast asleep in his room, so it can’t be him, so someone had entered the house! I run downstairs to check it out and what do I see but TLW carrying a bag to the trash can outside!

Me: “What happened?”
TLW: “I’m sick.”
Me: “Ooooh!”
TLW: “I had to pull over to throw up, thank God I had a bag in the car!”

My day was radically changing, my ballgame was a goner, and it looked like QVC all day until dinnertime.

TLW: “I’m going upstairs to bed, I’ve got the chills.”

Up she goes, I now know that it can’t be serious, just a virus, her going to bed means she can watch QVC in bed. I can watch the Mets!

Down I go to read the newspaper, when I suddenly hear: “Joe, Joe.” I run upstairs and open the door, “Yes?” “Can you get me a pot, and some aspirin? And shut off the air-conditioning, I’m cold.” It is 900 degrees outside, humidity is 75%, and she is in her winter Pajamas and robe, under a heavy set of blankets, and I’m shutting down the air-conditioner!” The question in my mind is: “Who is going to die first, her or me?”

When TLW gets sick, I’m sick. When TLW is so sick she is in bed, then I worry. When TLW goes to sleep and contorts her body like she does while in the bed, I think that I should put a mirror under her nose to check her breathing.

Through the course of the day, she started to feel better and better, to the point of coming downstairs and reading the newspapers while I watched the ballgame. She had dinner and a nice bowl of chocolate ice cream!

The end.

joedelbroccolo@yahoo.com

Friday, August 03, 2007

WHOA!!!!



CLICK ON CARTOON

Yesterday, rather than complain about the heat, I did something about it. I jumped into the pool, and had a nice time of it. However there were things that needed to be done, such as the very important work of my lunch. So out of the pool I go, and have my lunch, plus a little straightening up around the house.

I got the idea that I would get my floppy UNC hat, grab a book and make some ice tea, sit in my floating lounge chair, and read my book in the pool, Wishing I had a cigar, I was finishing up putting the dishes away from the dish-washer, my props ready for the pool when I suddenly had this sense of another being watching me! I turned toward the entrance to the kitchen and nearly jump out of my skin. It is TLW (The Little Woman) standing there! Home from work!

Well, it was a half-day for her, due to the wannabe bank and their policy of not paying overtime.

With TLW’s arrival was the departure of my pool plans, as slowly she drew me into a conversation on banking and the two or three new products her bank offers. All of a sudden, I’m asking questions, thinking like a banker and here is the scary part, I was finding it fascinating! Yes, me, the artists caring about banking and the new loans they offer small businesses, and on top of that, we discussed health insurance and my theory that there should be a lower limit on what juries award for punitive and other damages, why it is so hard for people to have health insurance and what not.

Maybe today I can go and do my thing in the pool.

joedelbroccolo@yahoo.com

Thursday, August 02, 2007

HOW HOT IS IT?

It’s so hot a dog was chasing a cat down the street and they were walking!

That’s hot.

Speaking of which, a lady came into TLW’s (The Little Woman’s) wannabe bank and noticed how much weight TLW has lost. The woman remarked that she looked like a “Hottie.” I swear, that’s what TLW told me.

Today will be another day in the 90’s, with delbloggolo in the pool, floating and resembling a prune by the end of the day.

Taking #2 Son to have his car’s oil changed for the first time, I guess I should tell him why.

The weather will remain the same the whole week, hot and humid and hazy, perfect for going to San Francisco, where it isn’t too much better, but probably better than here. My older sister Tessie is on her way with her husband John and their next-door neighbors; Lenny and Marie.

Our plans are for Sedona, Arizona, where we will vacation in January, and have dinner with an old friend of mine from PCH and her husband out near Phoenix or Scottsdale.

Too hot to even eat, let alone cook.

Think I’ll get busy with the oil change and then jump into the pool.

joedelbroccolo@yahoo.com

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

IT’S A DOG’S LIFE

Made a visit today to sign some checks at my place of volunteerism, and one of the secretaries asked me if I was enjoying my summer. Being retired I said that I was, and then realized that I’ve been retired now a full year, and it actually passed me by! Actually my retirement has been anything but a retirement, since TLW (The Little Woman) has created a perpetual honey-do list for me to follow daily.

When I wake up in the morning, I try not to look directly at her, because she will give me some chore in the guise of a “favor” and today was no exception.

Today I had to take the dog to the vets for a checkup of a hotspot on her tail. The doctor said: Yep, it is a hot spot, $126.00, please.”
When I went into the doctor’s examining room, I noticed how similar it is to my own doctor’s examining room. Then it dawned on me: my doctor has been treating me just like a dog!

I already have my orders from TLW for tomorrow: bring #2 Son to get his car an oil change, TLW doesn’t like the way the boy’s oil looks. This is after I had to help her find the oil stick in his car, draw a sample and show her how black it is. She runs a tight ship, giving me commands left and right, and if she didn’t think I could handle it, she would certainly give me even more commands. She is only 5 feet high, weight very little, but I listen to her. Why?

I think she is the reason I am still alive, somewhere there was a command from her to me that had to do with my living. Oops, she making the rounds, I better look like I’m busy.

joedelbroccolo@yahoo.com