Wednesday, January 30, 2008

THE BIG BAIT AND SWITCH


TLW (The Little Woman) is quick, crafty and sly. She knows how to operate and when to. She almost had me hoodwinked, and frankly, I’m not surprised.

The other day, she asked me to go next door in the Hood to my Man Bill and his Lovely Wife Carole’s house to give them $20 for something. She stated she would pay me back when she got home. Being a dutiful husband, that is just what I did. I found My Man Bill home alone (unsupervised) and gave him the money. $20. That evening, nothing, not one red cent was forthcoming from TLW. I figured, OK, I know where she lives.

That evening, there was a knock on the door. It was My Man Bill with $10 in his hand, which he explained was my change. What was needed was only $10. I thanked the man and gave it to TLW. (I am well trained)

The next morning dawned dark and dreary, and there was a lot on my mind as I descended the stairs to begin my day. With her cherub-like face and little red nose and sparkling green eyes she said: “The money I owe you for the week is on the table. I pick it up and count, $10 more than usual. Do I inquire, or do I take it and run? I, inquire. “Toots, how come there is $10 more than usual?

TLW: “Oh, that’s the money I owe you from yesterday.”

I get a feeling like I left the house without my pants on, and for that matter, my underwear too.

Me: “Huh?”

TLW: “Yes, remember you gave Bill $10, here is the $10 I owe you.”

Now I feel like I left the house without my shirt, too.

Me: “But I gave you $20.”

TLW: “Ha-ha, yes, but you only gave Bill $10.”

Me: “Shouldn’t I get another $10?”

TLW: “Why?”

Me: “Well, I had $20 in my wallet. It went next door (I wave Bye-bye), the $20 is no longer in my wallet. You gave me $10, but the wallet feels lighter. Oh, about $10 lighter! You see where I’m coming from, homey?”

TLW: “Ha-ha, you sound like one of my members in the bank.”

Me: “Sounds like you bank had a VERY profitable year last year with you!”

NOW I KNOW WHERE HER SON GETS IT FROM!

Would you like to use this blog as bait? Do things sound: Fishy? Send a nicely worded protest (one word or less) to: joedelbroccolo@yahoo.com. Tell him: “GO FISH!”

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