ITS ALL COMING BACK TO HAUNT ME!

None other than TLW (The Little Woman) informed me that I had to go to another school reunion! Yes, that nasty thing they do with old nuns and their former students is about to take place once again. Whose presence does marital law require? Mine. This time TLW will take along a whole entourage of graduates and their spouses. (See Tuesday, May 23, 2006 Blog “IF THERE’S A NUN AROUND, SHE’LL FIND ME”)

Sometime in April, TLW, her sister Maureen, and Maureen’s husband Steve, her brother Dennis and her buddy Lois from the wanna-be-bank where TLW and Lois work will attend this former school’s charity event as former students. Along with the above mention will be my lovely sister-in-law Angela, a fellow Paisana (Dennis’ wife), and me.

I am hoping to stay clear of nuns this time. My troubles stem not from these events so much, but from my long ago ugly history when I went to Catholic School as a poor innocent child.

Brooklyn was infested in those days with nuns. Nuns were everywhere one went. They owned Brooklyn. Your life depended on how fast you could move or speak in a respectful tone to a nun. Yes, they usually walked in two’s or three’s. Silently they stalked, and in a schoolyard or classroom, a street or church, one flick of the wrist and you were gone! Sister Hairy Mary, a rather large Amazon of a woman, shrouded in black and Rosary Beads made from the teeth of children who were not quick enough, ruled the schoolyard.

I on the other hand was a good, pure and innocent child, only out to learn about God and my ABC’s. Sister maintained her great muscle tone by smacking around and bouncing good children off the school building walls. Oh, she was a dear! I think I left an impression of my head on one of the schoolyard walls at Our lady of Lourdes.

Mom was a sympathizer of nuns. In fact, Mom took up where the (good) sisters left off. If I may quote Mom: “If I find out (I would never tell) that the teacher had to discipline you, when you get home you will get the rest. Mom liked to be pious too, just like Sister Hairy Mary.

Some of the nuns had strange names. There was besides Sister Hairy Mary, Sister Mary Paul, Sister Mary Joseph, and Sister Mary Bruno. None of the Nuns (?) had last names. If you were overheard by a nun not using the proper sobriquet “Sister”, a rather large fist, moving at the speed of sound would pound you into painful sorrow, as your buddies would peel you off the wall. It was important to remember; “speed of sound = pound.”

Recently, my good buddy from PCH, Jan Spaulding sent me the above photo. I think it is poetic justice.

Need “poetic justice” and can’t find a judge that can rhyme his/her words? Write to joedelbroccolo@yahoo.com. Tell him; “If God doesn’t get you, I quit going to church!”