Monday, October 27, 2008

AH, LOVE!


I got a call from my older sister Tess, (Much Older) who informs me that her first grandson, Stephen who shares a birthday with me, (no, we are not the same age) now has a girlfriend!

So, what is the big deal?

Well, his Momma may be happy, but his Grandmamma is spreading the news. Just like the Sinatra song that starts: “Start spreading the news.”

Stephen is a handsome and tall (very), intelligent (honor roll), athletic (football and Lacrosse) student, who just wanted some peace in his life. He strives to make himself be the best he can be for a teenager, and make his parents proud without fanfare. But does his Grandmother let it go at that? NOOOOO!

Success must come at a price. Stephen now has a girlfriend! Yes, a nice girl that is his equal. That is enough for all kinds of trouble.

Dear Stephen,

Boys become boyfriends, grow into manhood and become men or may choose instead to become ‘husbands’. Yes, they lose their manhood and start taking orders like little boys once again. The only time they are allowed to open their mouths is when they eat, unless she finds a way to feed you intravenously.

My advice to you Stephen is going to shock you. Stay with the girlfriend, but don’t go near your Grandmother. She will only corrupt your girlfriend and reveal your weaknesses and the soft underbelly of manhood. This will give the girlfriend the impetus to find a way to marry you, than you have to give up all the worthwhile things in life. A Sunday afternoon in the fall as Gang Green goes for the extra point, or that beer some day with the guys or any of those things, you enjoy now!

It is not the end of the world if you marry, no, just the end of the world, as you know it. There are some advantages to being hitched.

For instance… well I can’t list them all, but they are there. If anything, you may never have to think for yourself again! Just think, your life on cruise control, sailing along at an even pace. You’ll learn to know when to laugh, when not to, and how to check out a chick without being obvious!

Love,
Uncle Joe

Please remember my buddies, Joan and Anita.

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