Monday, November 30, 2009

BEWARE THE QUESTIONER!


She came down the stairs and headed in my direction, a frown etched in her brow and her mouth poised to utter potential disaster for me. Moving deftly across the den, she now was within smacking range, so I immediately put up my defenses, and paid strict attention. TLW (The Little Woman) began:

“DoyoulikethesejeansIboughtonTV? Ithinktheymakemelookslimandtheyareverycomfortableandthepricewasright. Whatdoyouthink?”

Me: (Shaking with fear) “I like them. I think they make you look VERY slim and they seem to be very comfortable and the price I’m sure is right.”

Yes, I’m a sniveling, spineless coward when it comes to critique’s of TLW’s apparel when she is in it, and within earshot.

This practice has been instituted early on, right during her first pregnancy, and I have faithfully stayed alive, ever since. I also employ this technique when discussing her cooking, baking, and women in general.

That’s right, I AM a bigger spineless sniveling coward than you first thought!

But, my Momma didn’t raise no fool (sound like a sports figure or two making big bucks!) Most married men like myself, know better. I call it the: NO BETTER CONCEPT” It means ‘No’ words must come from my mouth. That plus the fact that I won’t get a word in edgewise, anyway, once I open it!

Cowardice runs in the family, Dad was always on the run, with Mom close behind, usually with a pot in her hand, or any object that could cause bodily harm. Dad taught me to keep my head down, keep moving my feet, even if she IS gaining on me, and keep yelling: “I’M SORRY!”

Besides, as TLW herself said: “I know you can’t answer me honestly, but you are correct!”

1 comment:

Jim Pantaleno said...

Marriage can be a minefield. Tip to husbands...the answer to the question "Do these pants make my butt look big?" is not "Do you want your butt to look big?"