NOBODY’S FATHER.

You heard the expression: “Nobody’s child”, now let me introduce: “Nobody’s father.”

Oh, I have three children, who all went off in different directions, but one thing unifies them: ‘Mom’. Me, oh I’m that guy that Mom married. It’s nice to be someone!

It seems when the phone rings, it’s “Where’s Mom?’ The urgency in their voices suggests that they would have to panic if they have to deal with me. Even my daughter, who can’t speak, says only two words, one is “happy” and one is, you guessed it: “Momma”.

Even the dog, which doesn’t speak has a certain bark when TLW (The Little Woman) appears. When the phone rings: “Hello?” “Hello, is Ellen there?” and that folks is a call from MY Mother!

Of course, I really don’t mind, except that the kids have to fill out applications for loans and what not, and will call, asking “Mom” what my first name is, and am I still alive!

I still pay the college bills, usually forgive any loans my children may think they have with me, and am always glad to see them, but Mom is the center of the universe, just like TLW is with me. It must be her charm, or take-charge attitude, as oppose to my: “Let them figure it out” attitude.

But I do get a card on my birthday and Father’s Day that says:

“Dear _____,
What can I say?”

But hey, it’s the thought that counts.