Saturday, February 06, 2010

EYE ON THE DOCTOR


Once a year I go to the Ophthalmologist for eye exam. Being how I developed diabetes from my heart bypass, once a year I go.

The doctor is a stickler on being vigilant with self-care, and likes to get in a patients face about diabetes care. The self-care issue and coming once a year are his two favorite things. One year I came a month later than usual, and he complained. “You were scheduled to be here a month ago! What happened?”

Once his nurse asked if I was taking my blood sugar levels regularly. It means pinching yourself in the fingers to draw blood, then read it, and then throw away the stick and do it again in a few hours. You do that diligently for the first months then you come to realize a few things. First, that my primary-care physician: Dr. Ohlawanabonga, could care less. As I sat in his office in the middle of the Congo waiting for him to renew my prescriptions, I said I need blood-testing supplies too. “If you want.” Said Dr. O.

Secondly: from hour to hour, a blood reading changes, from bad to good or worse, depending on what you do. So why stick myself every few hours?

Any way, the nurse (The eye doctor) notes on my record that I don’t. Well, Dr. Hurtzlikehell, enters the room, reads the nurses notes and says: “What would happen if I just kept putting money into a bad stock?” Looking at me like his question was a good one. “What would that REALLY mean? Huh?” I reply, “Either you are a very rich man with a lot of faith in the stock, or, you feel you have too much money?”

This time around, the nurse (That troublemaker) asks what is your A1c number. (This number is a marker for how well you are keeping control of your diabetes.) I always forget to ask Dr. O, so I said: “Just about 6.1.” (A very good number, so why not lie?)

In enters Dr. Hurtzlikehell when the nurse is through making trouble and asks:
“So how’s the diabetes coming?”
“Good!”

Unconvinced, he smirks, takes my folder and reads it.

“I see, VERY GOOD!” He then tells me: “I like to ask how the diabetes is coming along, then when my patients say good, but don’t know their A1C number, I get in their face and ask them how they can tell if they don’t know their A1C number?”

“Tsk, tsk! To think they would try to get way with that!”

Now don’t get me wrong, my primary-care doctor, Dr. O, knows that number, I see him every three months, he takes blood every time, so he feels he has it under his control. So why concern myself with things I don’t understand to begin with, never could, and never will?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Mr. Del Broccolo, this is Dr. Hurtzlikehell. I bet you didn't think I read your "blogue". Well guess what, friend? I read it every day, and I was especially intrigued by today's entry.

How could you lie to a Doctor? Especially one with a name like Hurtzlikehell?

I will now have to keep a closer eye on you. You better bring some truth the next time you come into my office, or your finger won't be the only thing I'll be pricking.

Oh, and that reminds me. Have you been lying to me about your prostate? Sounds like I might have to give you another one of those exams, too. Just to be safe.

Capisce? (That's right, I'm half Italian. On my Mom's side.)

-Dr. Hurtzlikehell

P.S. #1 Son is very handsome.