Saturday, June 26, 2010

SHE NEEDS REPLACEMENT PARTS!

The other morning I came down for breakfast, when I hear the TV on at an unusual high volume level. There sitting in her chair is TLW (The Little Woman) watching the TV, not saying anything. Remembering the night before, where she had the TV on loud in the bedroom too, I asked her the following question:

“Are you losing your hearing?”
TLW: “It is a little loud!”
“It was very loud last night in the bedroom, too!”
TLW: “I must be getting old!”

That got me to thinking: do I have a ‘Plan B’?

Wouldn’t it be ironic if I have to replace her because her hearing went? I mean, what do I do? What kind of candidate am I looking for to take her place?

Sorting out the question in my mind to list for a candidate in the job description what kind of woman do I want?
I came down to three logical choices, all very different from each other.

1.) Knock out gorgeous, more than half my age and an orphan.
2.) My age, reluctant to talk too much, and a stay at home.
3.) Twice my age, filthy rich, and ready to kick the bucket as they say.

With #1, I guarantee myself dying with a smile on my face, but not remembering why.
#2 would run the risk of another TLW with the same problems but again, pleasant. And #3 is out of the question, since there is no one alive at 130! Plus with my luck, she would want her mother to move in with us, too!

I have decided to abandon a ‘Plan B’, and stick with TLW. Why? Because if she is deaf, I can finally talk back to her, without suffering the consequences!

2 comments:

Jim Pantaleno said...

Beautiful picture, I can see why your days as a bachelor came to an end. As for talking back to TLW without any consequences, bad idea. See Chapter 6 of the husband's handbook: "Somehow, They Always Know".

Laura ESL Teacher said...

That is a beautiful pic of TLW!