Saturday, July 24, 2010

R.I.P.

And how did your morning start off?

Well, last week my one Saturday morning didn’t start off that great. As I awoke I lay in bed contemplating staying there the whole day. It seems my foot was in agony from being on my feet the day before, because I had to direct a photo shoot. I dragged myself out and headed to my computer to make sure my blogue was up when TLW (The Little Woman) calls me.

“JOE!”
“Yes dear.”
“You awake?”
“Yes Dear”
“I went on my computer and it said I had to shut down!”
“Yes Dear”
“So I tried again!”
“Yes Dear”
“I got the same message so I went upstairs to your computer.”
“Yes Dear”
“Oh, by the way, your computer told me something needed more power!”
“Yes Dear”
“And when you go downstairs, Happy was barking at the pool, I think there is an animal in it!”
“Yes Dear”

So I shower and dress, and head downstairs, and stop at the den sliding door. I look out but don’t see anything and think it was a bird that bothered Happy.

“JOE!”
“Yes Dear”
“I think the animal is at the top of the pool steps!”
“Yes Dear”

I go out and investigate, and sure enough, without my first cup of coffee yet, I see what she is barking about, her and Happy.

There, huddled in a corner of the steps of the pool sits a rat! Alive and well but shaking! Now I have to think of how to get rid of it. I see my net on a long poll near by and I pick it up and get a plan. I will scoop the critter, and turn the net to hold the rat in so he can’t escape. I do so, and now I institute my part B of the genius plan, I move the net to a deep part of the pool and hold it down. I look at the rat while I hold down the net, and he’s looking up at me, waiting. I stay my ground and now he is getting anxious! He starts to move around in the net a little, looking for a way out. He is not going out on his own that was for sure. He becomes more frantic and desperate, seeking to escape, when sudden, little bubbles start to rise to the top, from the net. I wait, soon he is slowing down, almost slow motion in movement, when the end mercy comes to him, and he drowns!

I pull the net and think, what if he is trying to fool me. I look closely but he is dead. Now I have to dispose of him.

I go into the house where TLW is sitting on her recliner.

“Did you get rid of it?”
“Yes Dear, but I need some kind of container, like a margarine tub.”

We look and I find a Kool-Whip tub in the closet and take it out. I realize that it is too small for the rat and return into the den with the tub in hand.

“Isthatthingintheattub?Youbetternotbefoolingaround!JoegetthatoutofherenowI’mnotkiddingdon’tyoudearfoolaround.

“Darn” I think to myself, now I better NOT toss it at her.”

“Yes Dear, but don’t worry, the rat is larger than the tub. I need something larger to toss at you, I mean into the garbage.”

“TAKE A GARBAGE BAG FROM THE PANTRY CLOSET AND USE THAT!”
“Yes Dear”

And so, I faced down a rat, a drowning one! RIP (Rat In Place)!

2 comments:

Jim Pantaleno said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jim Pantaleno said...

We had one in the garage once...I put down a glue trap and caught it, but now I have a PISSED OFF rat on my hands. I took out my 34 ounce Roger Maris baseball bat and sent him to rat heaven. I'm sure he's up there waiting for me with his friends. Joke's on him though...odds are I'll never make it.