Tuesday, August 10, 2010

A BLACK COMEDY?

It can only happen to me.

I sat in my doctor’s office waiting room, waiting for Smiley to call me in when the door opens and out of the inner office comes this short gentleman, about mid 80’s in age. He is somewhat smiling, but he looks confused. Wandering about, the nurse at the door says:

“Mr. R, please go and sit down.”

As I watch, I notice he is not paying attention to the nurse and is mumbling. Another nurse behind the receptionist admonishes Mr. R to sit down: “The doctor said for you to take a seat, he doesn’t want you to fall and hurt yourself! You are very unsteady on your feet!”

Still roaming his wife suddenly appears from the open doorway, and yells: “Dominick!” Pointing to a chair, she focuses on the chair with a pair of steely eyes, bulging and then says: “SIT DOOOWWWNNN!” It made me want to be sure I was seated! Not paying attention, I knew something was wrong with the old guy, as I got up and lead the old gentleman to a chair next to the back wall, and sat him down and sat next to him. This was done to save him from that witchy wife he had!

The wife returns to the inner sanctum of the doctor’s office and the nurse thanks me.

We sit and as I wait to be called, I take a magazine and start to read. Suddenly, the old gent is leaning on me. I think: “How nice, I made a new friend!” The old guy is really leaning now, and I’m thinking that maybe he is a loon. I look at him, and his eyes are closed. He is resting very still, and won’t budge.

Then it hits me!

“Nurse, oh nurse! Can you come here please?”

The nurse and receptionist both look out the small window and see the old man leaning on me, and I’m frantically pointing to the old guy!

“What’s wrong?” Yells the nurse.

“I don’t think his is doing too well!” (Grossly understated)

One of the other nurses comes running out and looks, and heads back into the office where she came from, then suddenly I hear a rush of footsteps, as the Dr. Smiley Face leads the charge! Taking the man by the shoulders, he calls him: “Dominick, Dominick, can you hear me?” Taking his pulse and checking it at his neck, he says: “He’s passed.”

At least the doctor was calm.

Me; “You mean, like he’s DEAD?” I think to myself: "Thanks a lot Dominick, now you ruined my day too!"

The doctor tells me to go wait in the inner office: HE will be with me shortly.

I try to get up out of the chair, but my knees won’t unbend! Pushing myself, I’m shaking like a leaf and head to the inner office, and a nurse leads me into an examining room. The doctor will be with you as soon as he can.

One hour later, the doctor shows up.

“We had a little excitement there for a while, sorry.”
Me: “You’re sorry! How is his wife?”
“Oh, she is giving us all kinds of grief, very uncooperative, had to sedate her.”
Me: “Any chance you can sedate me?”
“No, you get your physical today, and I’m already running way behind schedule.”

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DON UYENO!

7 comments:

Mary Ann said...

Are you under investigation??? I am still laughing from yesterday! I almost had to pull over when I heard about this!! lol

Anonymous said...

Yikes. That sounds like a nightmare. I have a feeling that yours was the kindest shoulder that ol' Dominick had seen in a while. Wish I could give you a hug!

-Courtney

Anonymous said...

I thought I was having a bad day.
ss-i-l

Anonymous said...

my dad's entire life is one big episode of curb your enthusiasm

Anonymous said...

hey joe,
remind me never to get on a boat with you and pat!!! lois

Laura ESL Teacher said...

Well I must sya, you're the first person I know who has ever had anyone die on them (literally). At least he had your kind voice before he went.

Anonymous said...

When TLW told me about it at work
I thought to myself, this can only
happen to Joe. And don't listen
to Lois. You'd be perfectly safe on
a boat with me. It's the other
people you'd have to worry about.
Pat