During the over-bearing recent heat wave, I was invited to a bar-b-q birthday party, which was beyond human endurance! Temperatures nearing 100 degrees, no wind, and humidity to float a ship were all I needed to reach the point of delirium!
We sat quietly, only my lips moving, so as not to break a sweat, but thinking caused as much perspiration as running!
This Bar-b-q was catered, which made a lot of sense, and the beer and water were warm. The potato chips tasted like they just came out of the oven, as they sat in the sun and heat. A tent was erected over my head, but although it shielded me from sun, the heat was too much. Being this was a birthday party for a 1-year old child, there were enough rug rats to fill my school district’s kindergartens! One child needed to whine and cry in the heat, as I contemplated his murder, while Momma thought it cute. The little chucker screamed in the heat, with an unrelenting pitch, which helped me to unconsciousness. As I wavered in and out, all the kid did was say: “No’ or “I don’t wanna.” Cute little bas….
As I sat there melting with TLW (The Little Woman), a big surprise arrives! Some nut in a blue dog costume, covered as he was in this outfit, which even now makes me want to strip down and run around naked, arrives. Of course this attracts all the little girls, who make him earn his money and then some. Running around, sitting on his lap, making him move, was killing me! All I wanted was for him to get out of sight! It was too hot to look at this character, and so I plotted another murder, and thought, maybe I should go home, before the bodies start to pile up.
Knocking TLW over, along with the blue dog donkey, I reach the car, open the door, and almost pass out once again. The heat rolled out and onto my person, almost choking us. Turning on the AC full blast, I stepped on it and let the cold air engulf the car, relief at last!
There is a lesson in all this. DON’T GO TO BAR-B-Q’s during heat waves.
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