WHAT THE HECK!

I am always the last to know.

As I have wandered through life, it always seems to be filled with surprises, and the older I get, the more surprised I get. What surprises me is I get older! This morning as I went to the bathroom sink, I stood in what I thought was a line, waiting for the old man ahead of me to get done, when I realized, that guy in the mirror, that old man I was waiting for, was me!

As I look about me, I watch a TV show and think: ‘Hmmm, that is an older person” I soon realize the older person is younger than me, maybe by 5 years!

I’m even finding it harder to gauge how old anyone over 40 now is, since I am so old. I look around the board conference room, where 20 some odd sit to make decisions, and realize that I now am one of the older members! The retired old cranky men of twenty years ago are no longer there; I am the retired old cranky man!

This startling revelation has taken a whole new sense to my life, one that necessitates caution. I have been holding the door open for younger men than me, thinking they should have the respect because they are older than me!

I see women who dress like my grandmother, and think, they are old, older than me, but you know as well as I do, they are not. What I want to know is why, as we get older, we accept the dress code of the older, why do we make ourselves look old? I know I can do it sometimes, and I have to stop and think: is this how I want to feel?

Pardon my vulgarity, after all, I am old!