Tuesday, May 31, 2011

THE DOCTOR VISIT OF ALL DOCTOR’S VISITS


I got up that morning in early May, went into my shower and then went and got dressed. I realized that the day was to be another test at the doctor’s office, but being it was a cardiologist, under wear would not have to be perfect, so I grabbed an old pair and finished dressing.

A nice shirt, clean jeans and a handkerchief rounded out the ensemble: I was ready for the test.

The appointed hour arrived and off I went into the examination room.

“Mr. Del Bracola? Did I pronounce it right?”

The whince of my face led her to believe otherwise, as I corrected her.

“Today, we will be testing you with a sonar gram, have you ever had one before?”

“I don’t think so.” (This is a very intelligent answer to give when one is not sure.)

“OK” the attractive woman, said, “now take off your pants”

I thought to myself: “this is going better than I expected!”

Lying down on the test bed, she sticks the paper “Blanket” right next to the boys, so to speak! Then she pulls out this conductor cream and starts to smear it all over the Yukon Territory, including points north and east, again, if you know what I mean.

Trying to not get excited (if you know what I mean) I pretended disinterest.

Her eyes glued to the monitor from the computer, she slowly runs the probe down my leg, (Definitely not my technique) as she starts to mumble to herself. When she is done with my right leg, we started on the left one. This brought up the moral question of at least dinner. Not only that, but who is buying?

Going home that night, I spoke with TLW, (The Little Woman) about the whole episode, and her comment was: “Good thing you are not a young man!”

As for me, I think I would like to ask for a ‘do-over’, since I didn’t have the proper under wear.

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