Saturday, November 12, 2011

THE WANNA-BE-BANK & TRUSS CO.


Living with a wanna-be banker takes a lot out of you. As a wanna-be husband, I am a member first! If she is home at all during banking hours, or shall I say wanna-be banking hours, I as a member get to talk wanna-be-banking, and as she says: “An educated member/husband is an informed consumer.

Having conversations means remembering all the applications that are offered for loans, your L-50’s and what have you. Also the sheer number of her fellow wanna-be bankers, who proliferate the wanna-be bank, and something they call: “Banking School.” These are all important aspects of her job, and I need to be abreast of it all.

“Well Joe, (Before wanna-be banking hours) I have to go to banking school today!”

What will you be learning?”

“No, I have to go to the Bellport High School and sit there all day and open accounts for students!”

“Oh! I guess to learn what to do when they grow up and go to a real bank?”

In the 11 years TLW (The Little Woman) has worked at the Wanna-Be-Bank and Truss Company, most of the ladies that work there are named Christine. This has efficiency, since they the wanna-be heads of the wanna-bank, like everyone to be on a first name basis, which they employ. This makes it easy, and introductions go very smoothly! Sometimes, they send a wanna-be banker from one wanna-be bank to another.

“Christine is sick today, called HR and see if they can send someone to take her place.”

“I did, Christine is coming in her place!”

“Oh! They couldn’t send Christine?”

“No, she’s at the Holbrook branch today.”

Wanna-be bankers talk about two things with each other, one is the members attitudes: and the other is food. If the conversation gets too heady, they lock the doors until they get all the ingredients correct.

This does not mean everybody is named Christine. No, by no means! There’s Doug. Doug was pressed into service back in 2006 when he came one day to make a deposit. His family hasn’t heard form him since!

Then there are the three TOOTS sisters: Toots 1, 2 and 3. Each with her own name and uses it freely. However Ellen, Lois and Pat have been keeping a set of books on the members because the membership can’t tell one from the other, revealing their secrets to who they think is a former nun working part-time for the Vatican.

Perhaps you think I exaggerate or even embellish, but I assure you, it is all the truth. If you don’t believe me, open an account at the Wanna-Be-Bank and Truss Co, and see for yourself. Caution: don’t ask for Christine or Toots, but there is always Christine or Toots to help you.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Tell prospective customers to leave their drivers license in the car we'll take their word on it. The catch is we'll sell them every loan and product in the bank all for $1.00.