Tuesday, July 02, 2013

MRI (More Radiation Inside)


Went to the MRI place in Islandia off the Vet’s Memorial Highway, to scan my back one morning last week. Islandia is not a real town, but made up for a Peter Sellers movie that never took off, about a group of people who declare war on the Town of Islip to get welfare and live happily ever after by losing the war!

But to get this you need a doctor’s prescription and a pain of some sort. It is always good not to bring things that you can’t have, like a watch, cell-phone, belt or any metal in your body, on your clothes and if you like Metallica, get over them too.

As I made my appointment, the young lady on the phone told me to bring my prescription, photo ID, and medical card, plus any pain I am having, but NO adult live-in children.

They squeeze you into this seat that is so tight, you sweat, not from heat, but from the tightness, and once seated, they make you make adjustments for the scan, then tell you NOT to move for 25 minutes, no wiggling, swiggling and/or jiggling. In front of you is a giant screen TV to help you while away the time. The technician asks what channel I want, I decide I’d watch a sports program on SNY, and she says “ok”, goes behind the partition and turns on the set. There is nothing I can do at this point, the MRI begins, just as the TV goes on, and what I watch is a half hour infomercial!

The humming and clicking sounds begin to become mesmerizing, almost lulling me to sleep, as I look across the room I can see myself in the glass partition, looking like a humanoid being created from some cell in a futuristic scientific movie!

I have now had two MRIs: one in the tube and one in the chair, I’ll take the chair anytime. ???






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