It has been a while since I memorialized any visits made to
THE WANNA-BE-BANK & TRUSS CO., so today I will thrill you with my latest
Now my visit was to take care of some paperwork that needed
a notary, and to convert some loose change into cash, so I could feel flush and
single once more!
Upon entering the place, I immediately look straight ahead
for my favorite teller, who hides behind the teller wall and pretends she’s
busy. You know her as Princess Pat of Foxwoods Points. I wave and proceed to
the proceeds machine were the conversion of coin to cash miraculously transpire
and I will be baptized in green currency with the backing of the U.S. Treasury.
|Don't try to take Princess Pat's cake either!|
Like the gas station before I came, this too is occupied by a
woman who got there just in the nick of time to annoy and frustrate me with her
speed of which she is conducting her transaction. When it is finally over, I
move forward and deposit some change and wind up with exactly .05¢ more than I
spent for gas to get there. Now I have to cash in the receipt for $22.05 from
the teller and decide I will go to my old friend Pat.
Approaching the teller bank (The only thing I can seriously
call a bank in there) Pat immediately slips her box of Bon-Bons under the
counter and greets me with a smile.
“Is this a real bank?” I enquire.
Pat: “Where? Oh, well you want money, no?”
“Is it REAL money” I continue my inquest.
“Nooo, it’s Monopoly money, what do you expect?”
I hand over my receipt from the change machine and she asks
me my account number. Being how I am married to one who is gainfully employed
as a ‘platform’ person, she does all or most of my banking, so I don’t know the
number. She can and does handle money very well, except when asking me for
change of large bills, and her not having enough to cover it and so will leave
me even shorter in the transaction!
“So how’s Bill? (Her poor beleaguered husband) I ask Pat,
continuing my relentless pursuit of the truth.
She scrunches her face and looks lost. “Bill who”
“You know, ‘What’s his name?”
Pat: “Oh Him, HAHA!”
|TLW with her greeting face|
Giving up I take my cash and instead of feeling flush, I
feel flushed., and so go visit TLW (The Little Woman) to get my papers
Once again I am greeted with a smile and TLW suddenly turns
“You have an appointment?”
“How can we help you?”
Me: “I need these papers notarized.” (Just like I rehearsed
“Uh-huh, are you a member?”
One of the things that happens when I go to the
Wanna-Be-Bank & Truss Co. is that I feel like a fish out of water. People
see me and immediately warn TLW of my arrival, or at the very least look her
way. They stare at her with pity as they should, being married to me as they
wonder if I am there to buy her lunch. This is a precedent I started a while
back and it is the question they ask whether it be 8:00 am, noon or 5:00 pm!
|The lovely Cynthia being awarded for having to deal with me!|
We go to the Notary, a very nice lady named Cynthia who notarizes my
papers and suddenly I am arguing with TLW! What are we arguing about: my
shopping for a printer and where I should look for it. Nothing major, no
lawyers needed, but a “discussion” if you will.
But it seems that that morning I forgot to put on my wedding
band and watch, they are items that I usually take off at night and don’t wear
during the day if I don’t go anywhere, but when I do, I put them on. I’m not a
fancy guy, never cared for jewelry but if I go places the wedding band in
particular I will put on. Well wouldn’t you know it, one of the ladies at The
Wanna-Be-Bank & Truss Co. mentioned to TLW that I wasn’t wearing it!