TAKING STOCK OF WHAT I DON’T SEE

Living is getting harder!

Thank goodness my glasses aren’t too heavy, I’m constantly taking them off to read the fine print. It seems even a Reader’s Digest large print magazine seems to be in fine print to me!

Have you ever tried to read a over the counter medication, the print is so small, I have to take off my glasses, bring the damned thing up to my eyeballs and squint, while moving the bottle in and out until I can read it. Don’t these morons who set the type realize old people are trying to read their warnings?

OK, so I’ll get over it and so I go read the newspaper.  Reading the newspaper has now become a challenge as well. Last Sunday in Newsday they reproduced six political one-panel cartoons. TRY TO READ THE CAPTIONS! To fit these six cartoons in the page, they shrunk them, making the captions unreadable! HOW DUMB IS THAT?

So you say: “Calm down Del Bloggolo, it’s not the end of the world!” Oh no? I put the newspaper down and turn on the TV, AH! College basketball is on and the game is ongoing, AND they put up the score: RIGHT UNDER A STUPID PROMOTIONAL GRAPHIC! What’s the score???? They finally take away the promo and immediately, if not sooner, go to a commercial, leaving me wondering what the score is.

I switch to the History channel, and wouldn’t you know it, an interesting program, filled with intrigue, I won’t see it because they just went to a commercial break, which will last at least 6 minutes!

I’m driving, and I see this interesting sign come up, but I can’t read it yet, but will very soon-BUT SOME DAMNED TRUCK GETS BETWEEN ME AND THE SIGN AND WE PASS IT TOGETHER!

I hate trucks. Always have and always will. Recently I was in a hurry to get to the hospital to visit mom, I turn onto a local road, and what do I see ahead of me, an 18-wheeler, dragging along at 4 mph from his heavy load, and 15 cars trailing. He stops for a red light, we all do. Who do you think will stop a second time for that light, because the pant load driver of the friggen truck will take 20 minutes to shift into the next gear, leaving me to wait for another red light as he moves slowly on? SURPRISE, it’s me!

Of course if I have to listen to something particularly interesting, and they come to the main point, some jackass will make a noise, scrape a chair or say something and I completely miss it. Not enough good fortune for you? The bases are loaded, the game on the line, the pitch is about to come and: R-I-N-G, R-I-N-G, R-I-N-G! It’s the stupid phone! “This is your second and final notice to take advantage of this low-interest credit card rate” the S.O.B’s!