PRIORITIES

I know I’m getting old when my priorities change so drastically.

Since Mom has no use of her hands, and can’t sign anything anymore, she gave me the ability to sign checks for her and pay her bills.  With this responsibility, I decided to have all her bills forwarded to me at my home. This makes it less complicated and I don’t need a daily run to her mailbox 10 miles away everyday.

Now everything is running smoothly when one day last week I get my mail, and mixed in it is Mom’s. This goes on everyday, no big deal as they say. In the pile are two 8x10 catalogues, one from Lobster Gram, and one from Victoria’s Secret!

“YOU DIRTY OLD MAN!” That’s what you’re thinking, no?

Why am I having a Victoria’s Secret coming to my door?

It’s not mine: it is addressed to a 96-year old lady! Why would they send Mom a catalogue? As TLW (The Little Woman) surmised, they see her as a change of address and the list buyer sold her name to Victoria’s Secret. Sounds right.

Now here is the problem, when I took in the two catalogues, which one did I open first? LOBSTER GRAM! Yes, this OLD fart opened Lobster Gram first!

When I was in my 30’s and 40’s and probably my 50’s, I would have read the Victoria’s Secret in a New York minute, as the Princess of Foxwood Points (Pat Wippert) says, just for the articles.

And what went through my mind, thinking Mom was getting such a catalogue, my 96-year old Mom, with a boy toy? I kept erasing the images as they continued to pop up endlessly, al revolting and I’m still having flashbacks.

As Mom used to tell me: “KEEP YOUR PRIORITIES STRAIGHT!” She did.