Saturday, November 01, 2014

I-PAD EYIYI!


Every now and then, things need to be replaced: shoes, clothing and even old girlfriends. But now it has gotten critical, I-Pads are now going the way of laptops-expensive and upgraded!

Since 1991, I have owned a computer, something that I now heavily rely upon for important stuff like Facebook and Twitter, and yes e-mails. When I joined the rest of the electronic and computer world way back then I never realized how it would take over my life. At first I tried to get TLW (The Little Woman) involved so she could experience the wonders of the electronic world and so she did, but not without first driving me to a quicker aging process with questions and fear of trying things herself. But as she used these items, she became more daring and less afraid, and all was good.

Then her I-pad died, suddenly in its sleep. She awoke one morning and I found her sobbing, almost shaken to the point of hysteria. I tried to get it to work but it wouldn’t respond, its lifeless body, lay flat in my hand.  Tried to use both buttons, the startup and return buttons at once and still, nothing. Crestfallen and heartbroken we tried to charge it all day, every now and then I’d go over to it and try once more. Nothing. TLW came home from work and asked: “Did you try?” “Yes, I did all I could, I’m so sorry for your loss!”

“Would you come with me to Best Buy and see if we can repair it?”

“Sure.” I my heart I knew there was nothing we could do, in my very being deep into the core of my body I knew: $700, easy!

So Saturday rolled around and off we went, and entered the store under deep trepidation, she was nervous, I was crestfallen $700 worth easy.

We pushed the dead i-pad (No caps it was dead) and the young geek looked at it and said: “Dead on arrival! I’m so sorry for your loss! That will be $700, EASY!!!” We did what people tell you to do, as soon as one dies, run out and get another to take your mind off of the dead one, and so we did. Stroking the old one: one more time, I broke down and sobbed while TLW whipped out the old credit card: $700 real easy.

Bringing home the new I-PAD (ALL CAPS, IT WAS THE NEWEST VERSION) she sat in her chair and I took out my book, a heavy tome on the history of Russia. As I immersed myself in the reign of Joe Stalin with all the long impossible Russian names, TLW was starting to talk out loud, not only was she talking out loud, she was asking questions I couldn’t answer and yet I felt compelled to assist anyway. She discovered new things and some of her old things, she was now giving me a blow-by-blow description of what she was finding. From the Kremlin to the dacha to Apple systems I went, my head spinning, wondering when it would end, when Stalin would put down his I-pad and shoot me. My mind was a maze of confusion. Not only had she mastered the I-PAD, (ALL CAPS, IT WAS THE NEWEST VERSION) she now was better informed than me!

Somewhere there is a dark corner I will retreat to, un-needed and outdated with my old I-pad and of course my outdated cell-phone system 2, while she has system 4.








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1 comment:

Diana said...

I feel for ya Joseph...........my iPad is about 4 years old and doing "crazy things" now......I guess that's the way it works, like when 8 tracks went to cassettes, then to c.d's, then to,d.v.d.'s, and so on......it's the same with the computers and phones now. My question is, how many times are we gonna have to "upgrade " all this stuff??? And better keep your v.c.r's, cassette players, etc......it's impossible to keep changing over all those old home videos, etc. :-))