DelBloggolo: LESSONS LEARNED

Monday, December 22, 2014

LESSONS LEARNED

Once upon a time, many years ago, I became a father for the first time. Ellen my daughter was born late in the day about 4:30 PM. It was a Tuesday, and I was in my office in NYC at 11:30 AM when my wife called to say she was going to the hospital. It was a cold day with snow on the ground and it took about 5 hours from the phone call I got at my office until I got to the hospital via subway train, Long Island Rail Road and cab to where she was born.

Soon after my daughter’s birth, about a year and a half later, we got the awful news that she had brain damage from birth, and that was why she was developing slowly, confirming our suspicions and fears, and devastating us completely. We were young and unaccustomed to the world of developmental disabilities, or as it was called in those days: metal retardation.

The reason I bring it up at this time of the year amidst the hoopla and joy of the holidays is that it is because of my daughter’s affliction, that I have the joy of the season in my heart. I now dress as Santa twice a year and do it for people with disabilities. The agency that I volunteer for, the AHRC Suffolk chapter sponsors a holiday dance every December where about 300 folks get their picture taken with Santa and a home for individuals with disabilities has a little Christmas party with presents for about 8 people. As Santa, I come to their home and give out the presents and try to cheer them up.

In all these individuals: each has his or her own disability, some mental and some physical and almost all with both. I engage them as best I can, compliment them on their dress, or their smile or something. I make sure when I visit their home that I greet each and every one of the residents, and try to be respectful of their presence and their home.

But there is something else that shines through with all the visits, something happens when I acknowledge them. Suddenly a break through occurs, a sudden light goes off in their eyes, and they bring this smile to their face, like I was digging for gold and found some!

Every time I do such a thing, every time they feel good, I have to thank the agency for the privilege and my daughter Ellen especially. The agency asks me to do it and my daughter makes it possible for me to do it. Her life is happy now under the daily care of her home and her houseparent, and I strike a inner core of someone’s heart and bring it alive for so many. Like someone said about it all: “I think you live all year for this”

They reminded me that I am neither Christian nor Jew, Muslim or other, but that I AM a child of God’s, steeped in his love with the innocence of these wonderful people. They asked for nothing and give so much, they say little and teach me acceptance. Most importantly, when I appeared there was no cynicism, no doubt, not fear, just an extension of their being saying: :Welcome and be happy. I like you!” Could I do that?

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!