DelBloggolo: YOU PUT YOUR RIGHT FOOT IN, YOU PUT YOUR…

Saturday, December 06, 2014

YOU PUT YOUR RIGHT FOOT IN, YOU PUT YOUR…

Never mind.

It happened about 4:30 am, TLW (The Little Woman) was going down stairs to awaken the roosters of Holbrook, NY. As she descended the last steps of the stairway, she totally missed the last step and her right foot landed, smashing against the edge of the step, rupturing her Achilles tendon. As it was 5:15 I had to go to the bathroom when she pops into the bedroom to inform me that I had to take her to the emergency room at Stony Brook University Hospital: and good morning to you too.

I quickly dressed and helped her into the car thinking: why does this feel familiar? Then it occurred to me that the last time this happened was 27 years ago, almost 28, when #2 Son was born.

Driving to the ER, I was tempted to ask her if she was pregnant, it seemed like the old days, early in the AM, no sunlight and I’m half asleep driving to the hospital. We get to the ER and they take us right away. We figured we would be there all morning just waiting to be taken. Now they take you and make you wait all morning before they do anything.

At this hour of the morning, the nurses are young, single and beautiful, a good time for me to go to the ER. If I ever get into an accident, it will be at 4:00 am. On the flip side, the doctors are all blue eyed, tall and blond, built like a sculptured Adonis, charming and just what is needed to keep TLW from having to talk to me. As we arrived before a shift change, she had two of these types, both handsome and young and well built. They were so well built I was afraid I was turning gay, but the young nurses straightened me out.

Pretty Boy does his thing

And so the various doctors that she saw, all asked the same questions, did the same procedures and heard the same answers, and so I asked an important question as Pretty Boy #2 applied the cast: “Doctor, will she be able to do the Hokey Pokey?” Pretty Boy responded that Yes it would happen since these things completely heal.

“Oh good” I said; “the Hokey Pokey was our wedding song!”

You put your right foot in you put your right foot out… wait a minute TLW, maybe you want to wait until you put your hands in, you might fall down!

And so after 5 hours in the ER, they took x-rays and decided they can’t operate, since the damage is too close to the surface area of the skin, and an operation would risk it not healing right and cause infections. Pretty Boy returns and wraps the foot in a cast and then gets a set of crutches, which he will try to teach TLW how to use. The problem with Pretty Boy is he really doesn’t know what he is talking about, and TLW is as coordinated as a balloon released and flying everywhere

We decide as we leave to go find a place for breakfast and some coffee.

TOMORROW: Learning to Navigate on her new pair of wheels, with eggs.