Every now and then I like to lend you the reader a little
glimpse of my life because along with the good there is always sadness, but the
sadness helps to understand better the why we all need to live and live with
some spirit.
Last week I entered a funeral parlor somewhat saddened that
I had to be there. A very good man and great loving parent was grieving for his
recent loss, and the feelings that go with the grief never ever leave you.
Did you ever have a plant that needed help to grow, and you
spend a lot of time and effort to nurture the plant, only in the end have it
die on you. There is a certain feeling of let down, defeat, even sadness. Now
multiply that feeling a hundred fold and think of it as a child, a child that
was born without a chance, a child who could not survive one minute without the
help of someone else, but a child that is yours and you work hard for its
survival, dealing with medications, doctors and hospital visits, therapy and
forcing the child to do things he/she doesn’t understand. See the face of
fright and despair as their eyes plead with you because they can’t speak and
the eyes say: “Daddy, why are they doing this to me???”
I asked him how and when it happened, and he began to tell
me how quickly everything transpired, how he thought he was dealing with an
ordinary day feeding his son who sat in a wheel chair and it turned into
sadness, a turn for the worse, unexpected and devastatingly over.
When you have a child with disabilities, you are forever on guard,
forever alert to the slightest abnormality, forever fearful of the unexpected.
You nourish, you support, you go to doctor’s appointments, you visit specialist
and you learn about medications and conditions the ordinary parent doesn’t need
to worry about.
As my friend finished telling me the events that led to his
son’s death, he was on the verge of tears, the look of despair in his eyes and
the sound of disappointment in his voice, the sadness overwhelming.
When life deals you bad luck, you try to deal with it as
best you can, you put your head down and try to work your way through it all,
but you must realize at the end of the day, life goes on, you need to live yet
your time is not over. My friend said in the end: “You know Joe, in a way I’m
relieved, the constant work and vigilance is over, there is no more feeding or
doctor’s appointments to go to anymore, I’m coming to grips with it all and
starting to feel better”
I left thinking that I was happy for him, happier than when
I entered the place.
No comments:
Post a Comment