DelBloggolo: THE MTA HAS NOTHING ON MY DENTIST OR ME

Monday, February 16, 2015

THE MTA HAS NOTHING ON MY DENTIST OR ME

"Open wider." requested the dentist, as he began his examination of the patient. "Good God !" he said startled. "You've got the biggest cavity I've ever seen - the biggest cavity I've ever seen." "OK Doc !" replied the patient. "I'm scared enough without you saying something like that twice." "I didn't !" said the dentist. "That was the echo."

Being a man I tend to not do things that should be done for myself, buying clothes or going to the doctor and in this case, the dentist. As a result, I was down to a few teeth and decided to go to the dentist and see if he could do something. My prerequisite was no needles and no drilling or picking at my gums. This was about 5 months ago.

Since I have been to the dentist, he has drilled, stuck me with more needles than a pincushion and has picked my gums along with the Periodontist and some guy who specializes in coming in on Thursdays.

Now my diner is next door to the dentist office. I like to open my mouth in the diner because only good things happen, but if I go next door… I’m afraid they will stick the Que-tip loaded with numbness for the needle and stick me with it! And this is while I’m still getting out of my car!

Now you must be thinking: “DelBloggolo, stop being such a baby! We all have stuff like that done to us: but you don’t hear us complaining!” No I don’t, and I don’t care, I don’t like to be stuck with needles or see the smoke coming out of my mouth while the dentist drills, nor do I like it when they stick some foreign object in my mouth that holds my mouth open and his assistant keeps asking me questions.

“How you doing?” “Are you all right?” Meanwhile my mouth is wide open and nothing can come from it and even if I could talk, the noise of the drill or the sledgehammer will drown out my answer!

I'm afraid to open my mouth!!!

Actually I’m a good patient, I don’t cry in the dentist chair, all that is done prior to and after the work is done. I leave the mouth open, the doctor hasn’t been bitten… yet, and I do whatever is asked.

And so, all of this will continue, since I’m having bridge work done, and there are three more bridges to build yet. The one currently under construction I’m calling the Brooklyn bridge, there is still the Williamburg, the Queens 59^th Street and the Tappan Zee bridges to go yet. The MTA has nothing on my dentist and me.