Friday, April 24, 2015

&^^%^$^ &^$^&) **&^% AND I MEAN IT!


A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street.
However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach.
After watching the boys’ efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy's position.
He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a solid ring.
Crouching down to the child's level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, "And now what, my little man?"
To which the boy replies, "Now we run!"


Last Sunday morning late, I got a phone call from my old friend from Pakistan, Anonymous. Anonymous calls regularly, at least once a week to warn me about my ‘KUMPOOOTER’ ready to give me instructions on how to ride this virus he has detected and how I will need to rid myself of it. A nice enough gesture for sure.

Phone rings:

Me: “Ello?” (I know who it is: it’s Anonymous!)

Anonymous: “Alow, dis is a call to advise hue your Kumpoooter is at risk. We have been monitoring your Kumpoooter and you have a serious virus.”

Me: “I do????? How did that happen, my God!”

Anonymous: Yes, you need to rid it immediately.”

Me: “What do I need to do???”

Anonymous: “Hue have a PC, right?”

Me: “Yes.” (No I don’t I have a Mac.)

Anonymous: “Yes, I can see, You need to go to the bottom left of your screen, you see the… (Starts to give me directions as I pretend to be following them.)

Anonymous: “Now with the control key press down the option key, what do you see?”

Me. “Nothing,”

Anonymous: “Nothing? The screen didn’t change???!!!”

Me: “Nope.”

Anonymous: “HOO KAY, Go to the right of your screen and press…” (More instructions and I pretend I’m doing it)

Anonymous: “What do you see now?”

Me: “OH! I see a message!”

Anonymous: “A message?!”

Me: “Yup.”
Anonymous: “What does it say???”

Me: “It says you are full of S#!%”

Anonymous: “WHAT!!!??? What does it say???”

Me: “It says you are full of S#!%, wait a minute, it also says this phone call is a lot of crap you &^^%^$^ &^$^&) **&^% hole! Why don’t you try getting a real job you thief?”

This goes on every time the morons call, looking to get into my computer to steal my identity, but I gave them who I thought they are.





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