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Friday, April 10, 2015

SHELDON HAS IT RIGHT


In a train compartment, there are 3 men and a young woman. The four passengers join in conversation, which very soon turns to the erotic. Then, the young woman proposes,

 "If each of you will give me $1.00, I will show you my legs."

The men, charmed by this young college girl, all pull a buck out of their wallet. And then the girl pulls up her dress a bit to show her legs. Then she says,

"If each of you gentlemen will give me $10.00, I'll show you my thighs,".

And men being what they are, they all pull out a ten-dollar bill. The girl pulls up her dress all the way to her legs in full. Conversation continues, and the men, a bit excited, have all taken off their coats. Then the young girl says,

"If you will give me $100, I will show you where I was operated on for appendicitis."

 All three fork over the money. The girl then turned to the window and points outside at a building they're passing.

 "See there in the distance. That's the hospital where I had it done!"


Many years ago back in 1966, my oldest sister was having her first child. In anticipation, I went out and bought a set of electric trains for my nephew to be. I tucked them away and waited for the big day and when it arrived, I couldn’t believe it, it was a niece, not a nephew!

Then one day I married and a year later TLW (The Little Woman) was due and I of course was ready, thought about getting an engineer’s cap to wear to go with the trains, me and my son and trains. Of course my first-born: a daughter changed all of that too.

As a little kid, Santa got me a set of American Flyers, that I liked better than Lionel because of the tracks, which looked more like railroad tracks did than Lionel brand did. For hours I played and enjoyed them.

It seemed every summer I would go out to Patchogue Long Island and visit my Uncle Joe, making for some very pleasant summers for Mom. Uncle Joe worked on the Long Island Railroad and would on occasion take me to the station in Patchogue, and as the big locomotive pulled into the station with its coal car and passenger cars, Uncle Joe and I would climb aboard and he would get the train ready for the haul out
to the east end. The train would uncouple and the engine would go to the siding and pass the passenger cars and re-couple to the other end of the train to pull it in the opposite direction. It would then pull into the eastbound track. This would excite me since I was sitting in one of the cars and would think it was leaving and I would be going with it, lost forever!

I always had a fascination with trains, often going down to Fulton Street and Rockaway Avenue to either the el or the subway to watch the trains come and go, getting a different sense of the trains from the underground to the above ground el. My imagination would roam then wander, and I loved to dream of going out to the country on the train. To this day I love to take a train somewhere over driving.

The big lumbering monsters made of steel, rocking menacingly as it slowly crept into the station impressed me to no end to this day. Standing on a platform as an express came barreling down the middle track, zooming by and leaving a tailwind that swept the station left a breathtaking moment, almost a shudder in my body!

Dr. Sheldon Cooper and I have that much in common, although I’m more of a social misfit than he is.

 


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