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Monday, October 19, 2015

HELP! IMA GONNA DRRROOOWN!!

There are two interesting people in my life and one of them was Uncle Tony, a sweet man with a wonderful disposition, born on ‘the other side’ as they used to say. He wasn’t a blood relative but married my father’s sister. Grandma owned a duplex in a town called Patchogue: she rented it to my aunt on one side and my uncle, my father’s younger brother on the other. It seemed to be like North and South Korea, poor Aunt Angie had everyone’s sympathy always arguing and tensions could run high over the slightest misdeed intentional or not. Uncle Joe was a sour puss at times and cranky, yet was the life of the party as well, being very funny in his stories and jokes, for that we all loved him.
Together the two gentlemen were more like Laurel and Hardy, whenever they did something together, fix a fence or move a table, you could count on one doing something less than stellar and one get madder than a mad hatter.
So one day the two neighbors decided to rent a small rowboat and go fishing in the local lake, Uncle Joe and Uncle Tony. This was a formula for something outrageous to happen and sure enough it did.
As they went out into the middle of the lake, something snagged Uncle Joe’s line and he asked Uncle Tony to see if he could fix it. Uncle Tony gets up and is standing in the boat and Uncle Joe is yelling: don’t get up, don’t get up!!! I didn’t matter, Uncle Tony in his confusion now got unsteady from Uncle Joe’s pleas, and into the drink he went; head first.
There was uncle Tony floundering: “I CAN’T SWIM, HELP! IMA GONNA DRRROOOWN!!
By now Uncle Joe looks at him and says: “Tony… the %#$@+$& water is up to your knees for Christ’s sake, stand up!
Uncle Tony stood up and stepped back into the boat.
Tomorrow: FIT TO BE TIED.

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