Q: What does it mean when the flag is at half-mast at the post office?
A: They're hiring.
I’ve discovered that I am ordinary, and will become even
more so as time goes on, but ordinarily I don’t complain.
The other day I was in the supermarket looking for soap.
Ordinary everyday hand soap: a simple bar of soap. I was looking for something
specific, Ivory Soap.
|I just want to be clean|
Why Ivory Soap, because it has no scent in it, no perfume or
any kind of additives, just plain ordinary soap a man’s kind of soap. Aside
from the fact that they didn’t carry it, the soap section was hidden under a large
display of men’s scented soaps on the shelf, in bottles and was called lotions
and body moisturizers and other sissy things. Someone at Stop & Shop is put
in charge of getting hold of my shopping list and putting things in impossible
places to find anything as I enter the store, this is their job. If I wanted perfumed
soaps, I would wear a dress, it just isn’t my style. I have a suspicion one or
both of my sons use the fancy stuff, but I’m from the old generation, they
didn’t have that stuff when I was young. Men’s toiletries to me are the men’s
room with more than one urinal for God’s sake!
But I’m like that in food too. Take yogurt, I like it if it
is only the plain kind. I don’t like fruit in my
|The way it should be.|
yogurt; it makes me suspicious
that I’m not getting the benefits of yogurt without sugar. If it isn’t plain or
vanilla, I don’t want it. Fancy flavors are usually artificial and don’t
usually have the real stuff in it.
My clothing is another way that I am not fussy. I don’t like
style on my shoes; I like a plain round toe for the shoe, no layers, fancy
things or patterns. Plain and ordinary, that’s me. Socks: white unless I dress
to go out, then a solid color. I could just see it in a few years: men who
already wear earrings, dresses and fancy shoes being confused whether they
should sit or stand in the men’s room!
|Now that's shoe!|
My suits, shirts and jackets, all basic styling, nothing
cute or fancy, no alligators or fancy designs, I like basic colors and nothing
else. I sound pretty boring, no? Ties are something else, TLW (The Little
Woman) picks those out for me because when she does, and I get many
I can’t stand designer gimmicks like labels on the outside
of a garment or underwear that should be in a porno flick. FUBU? What the hell
are they thinking??? FUBU indeed, I’ll FUBU you!
I’m a one kind of bourbon man only: Jack Daniels. Don’t try
to pass anything else by me, and if you do I’ll send it back! Had a restaurant
owner try that a few times, he had to go down to his basement and get me a
bottle from another case, because he was trying to pawn off Wild Turkey, don’t
|being in touch with their softer side|
There is nothing like seltzer water. A little lime or lemon
in it and I am a happy camper, Most brands try artificial flavors, they don’t
hold and they don’t taste right, and I don’t like them. Why poison something
good with something bad?
Besides all the above, what happened to the idea of dressing
up once in a while. I fell into the very trap of men’s attitudes today when I
was going to a funeral. I was going to wear jeans, when TLW stopped me and I
realized she was right! What the Hell is happening to this world and me?
LOOKING FOR GREAT GIFT IDEAS FOR YOUR CHILDREN OR GRANDCHILDREN?
Address: 1231 Taft Hwy, Signal
Mountain, TN 37377
DO YOU WATCH THE BIG
You should, it will make you natural!