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Saturday, July 30, 2016

GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY


Let’s face it, we are all in awe of God, even if we don’t admit it. It comes in any form our minds can conjure up. A divine spirit, entity or being, we think reverently and respectfully of Him.

Somehow in my world, I decided God must have had a sense of humor, something to while the time away as he created and watched his creation at work and play, and somehow left me in charge of making him laugh. I know this sounds arrogant and maybe disrespectful, but there is a time for everything under Heaven. For instance:

Imagine you are in church and I am next to you, it is a solemn moment of sorts, maybe a funeral of someone not close and I whisper in your ear:

Pasqual went to the dentist's office to have a tooth pulled. The dentist pulls out a freezing needle to give him a shot.”

You start to think: “WHAT???” Then you realize I’m sitting next to you and you want to beg off but can’t get away. I continue.

"No way! No needles! Managgia, I hater needles", said Pasqual.”


You are starting to get uncomfortable and try to at least concentrate on what is going on. I continue once more…
“The dentist starts to hook up the laughing gas and Pasqual immediately objected.
"I no can do the gaser thing either; mamma mia, the thought of a having a the gaser mask on is a suffocating me!"
Now you are picturing Pasqual and his sitting in the dentist’s chair, and you are smiling a little. So now I know I got cha, and continue on…
“The dentist then asks Pasqual if he has any objection to taking a pill.” 
                                                                                                
You start to say to yourself: “Please God, don’t let this nut make me laugh here and now!” A swell of laughter is starting to build in the core of your chest! I lean in a little closer, it is coming soon, as your mouth begins the shadow of a smile… and say:
"No objection", Pasqual said. "I'ma fine with pills".
The dentist then returns and says, "Here's a Viagra tablet".
“Oh GOD! You think, here it comes… I CAN’T STOP THIS LAUGH FROM COMING ON, NO ONE WILL UNDERSTAND, I WILL BE THROWN OUT OF HERE FOR SURE, PLEASE GOD… DON’T LET ME LAUGH, I HAVEN’T BEEN TO THE TOILET IN 4 HOURS!!!!”
I sense your discomfort and go in for the kill…
“Pasqual, totally at a loss for words, said in amazement, "WOW, I no know Viagra worker as a pain killer!"
Inches from total breakdown, holding it in, you grit your teeth, it is coming like a tidal wave, and you will be wiped away from your moorings, anticipation without salvation is at hand! I pause for a moment to allow you to get all your fears in order, like ducks in a row and I whisper…
"It doesn't", said the dentist, "but it will give you something to hold on to when I pull your tooth."
You will squeeze your gums together to avoid making noises, noise that would bring relief, your stomach squeezing your muscles and trying to concentrate on the proceedings, all you can see is the indignation of the worshippers as they will turn to seek out the source of your discomfort and I will be looking at you as you try to compose yourself.

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