Saturday, July 02, 2016


Grandma Frances has been gone now for 25 years, and if she knew what is happening to her world of fashion and cooking, she is surely turning over in her grave!

For instance:

Pineapple on pizza! A crime against even God, let alone her sensibilities. This would have made her angry as all get out, questioning the sanity of it all!

Pasta sauce from a can!!!! My God, you might as well eat frankfurters and call it Pasta Fagiola! Totally unacceptable for any Italian to “Eat that crap”, let alone to serve it to your dog.

Store bought Mozzarella cheese, you know: the cardboard kind?

Buying anything but anchovies in a can, you might as well as hang up your Italian heritage and become Japanese!

Go into an Italian restaurant and order; meatballs and spaghetti!

Going into an Italian restaurant when you can make it better at home! (Some truism)

Buying bottled wine in a store, not home-made! If you didn’t make it, you find someone who does, unless of course, it is bottled in Italy.

Nothing but Italian olive oil, no Spanish, French or Greek is acceptable.

You must have at least one crucifix and at least one or two sacred heart pictures hanging, and a votive candle going at all times. Statues of saints although nice and can give you extra points, is not a hard and fast rule.

If you don’t have leftovers after dinner for lunch the next day, you are a lazy cook.

Italian bread, not French or God forbid, that white Merican sliced white bread!

A black dress for all occasions, even if grandpa is still alive.

Medals of Italian saints, pinned anywhere there is a place, including certain bra straps.

Rings, big rings, some for each finger and thumb, and don’t look down at her toes.

If you don’t speak with your hands, you are a mute!

If you don’t wave back, you are either deaf or not listening!

Where were you on Sunday? After all, she cooked all morning!

You only visited 6 times this week, is something wrong?

And so you have some of the things grandmas would find offensive in one way or another.


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