DelBloggolo

Friday, September 30, 2016

GLAD YOU ASKED!


Some unanswered questions were put forth by a buddy of mine from a Facebook posting. She posted:

“I still have so many unanswered questions!
I never found out who let the dogs out...
 the way to get to Sesame Street...
why Dora doesn't just use Google Maps...
why we don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"...
why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed...
why "abbreviated" is such a long word...
why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor yet dish-washing liquid is made with real lemons... why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections...
and, why do you have to "put your two cents in" but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"
where's that extra penny going to...
can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane...
why do The Alphabet Song and Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star have the same tune...
why did you just try to sing those two previous songs?
and just what is Victoria's secret? ...
and do you really think I am this witty ?? ...
I actually stole this from a friend, who stole it from her brother's girlfriend's Uncle's cousin's, baby momma's Doctor...
Now it is your turn to steal it from me…”

Here are my responses to those well-posed questions:

I never found out who let the dogs out...
It wasn’t me!

the way to get to Sesame Street...
Practice, practice, practice!

why Dora doesn't just use Google Maps...
She invested in a GPS

why we don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"...
They don’t like to pay taxes

why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed...
NOT EVEN I WILL GO THERE

why "abbreviated" is such a long word...
To make you appreciate what it means

why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor yet dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons...
For bad children who need soap in their mouth

why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections...
In case they miss (See Tim Conway and Harvey Korman in the dentist skit)

and…

why do you have to "put your two cents in" but it's only a "penny for your thoughts" where's that extra penny going to...
Taxes

can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane...
Depends… is the corpse in a hurry?

why do The Alphabet Song and Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star have the same tune...
plagiarism
why did you just try to sing those two previous songs?

and just what is Victoria's secret? ...
she’s a MAN!

and do you really think I am this witty?? ...
Yes

I actually stole this from a friend, who stole it from her brother's girlfriend's Uncle's cousin's, baby momma's Doctor...Now it is your turn to steal it from me...
As a former President once said: “I am not a crook!”


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