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Saturday, January 07, 2017

THEY'RE TESTING MY HEART CAUSE ITS FUN!

Yes, today is a bad day for me. Today my cardiologist will have earned enough for a nice college fund for his child who probably isn't even born yet!

Before I can have the good surgeon slit my throat (another college fund or extended vacation of some sort), there are more tests to do. And why not, these tests are designed by my enemies, who have all contributed suggestions. The three best suggestions are chosen from the hundreds submitted. The winners are:
Starve me
No liquids
Make me run until my lungs collapse

All this will be done in the course of about 16 hours and will leave me irritated, angry, pissed off, annoyed and just plain hungry. Being plain hungry usually leaves me: irritated, angry, pissed off, annoyed and I want to hit somebody.

Being retired, I will drive through the traffic I don't miss, deal with people who don't know how to drive and try to stay alive on the road. Get to the office they will conduct an Echo cardiogram on me, then make we wait about two days in the waiting room where they will collect me to either run the treadmill until my lungs are heaved up with the last breath of air in them, or do the nuclear test, that is where they inject an isotope into you and you feel like your insides are on fire (I'm not kidding) then they inject something to end that sense.

You must be wondering why they would do such a thing to a nice kid like me. They are testing to see if I really am a nice kid. As for me, I will smile through it all because I have no idea what I'm doing there.

I haven't had this much fun since I sliced part of my finger off on Mother's Day back in 2014.


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