MY SECRET LIFE EXPOSED!
In the newspapers this past Wednesday, March 8th, the day started off easy enough until I read the morning headlines on both the NY Daily News (A rag) and the Long Island Newsday, (A linen rag) shouting out the shocking news in their headlines.
The rag skipped it the usual assessment of Donald Trump and Mayor Di Blasio and Newsday took off from seeking a Pulitzer Prize by announcing that the CIA, that friendly espionage coterie, had a new interest to pursue: you and me!
That brand-new TV set you purchased, the ‘smart' TV? It is smarter than you think! It's telling on you all your dirty little secrets are now going to the CIA for their reading pleasure! Shocking? No, surprising though that it took them so long.
Now I have to be guarded about what I say out loud in my den to TLW (The Little Woman). Secrets like where I hid the cashew nuts, what I think of Justin Beiber, and what I'm saying under my breath are all open to scrutiny by the boys at the CIA.
There are two ways to go with this, one is to turn on the radio while watching TV to confuse the interceptors, or I could just stand next to the TV and say how much I love the CIA, how patriotic I am, how I hope Trump builds his wall at discounts prices from Home Depot and that I taped all of his press conferences, in a clear and concise way.
I would imagine you can gain points for that.
There is one other catch when you turn off your TV, it is still listening in on you, seems when you last upgraded the system it made it all possible. If you are talking in sleep on your easy chair, the gig may be up! If there is a knock on your door after the news at 11, you may be the news in tomorrow mornings rags!