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Monday, April 24, 2017

ALOW, HEW PROBLEMS WITH YOUR COMPUUUTER!


Ready for the night shift to call about my Cpmpuuuter!
Those are the words heard most recently on my phone one evening. I get this kind of call by the same guy from probably Pakistan, telling me they detected a virus on my ‘Compuuuter”! I need to take care of this and they are the ones to help me do just that!

I am also told that it is a pc virus, so therefore lucky me, they can help me.

I own a Mac.

“Oh! How did a virus get into my computer?” I ask.

“Hew must have been to a website that is infected.” I am told.

I play along with the guy, pretending I am stupid and don’t know what I’m doing. (OK, I heard that!) Be nice!

I convince him and so he sends me along to his supervisor, I think the same guy.

He tells me to turn on computer and I say OK.

“Is it on, are you on your compuuuter?”

“Hang on, it takes a few moments to boot!” I am on the computer all along>

“OK, I’m on.”

“Good, now look at your keyboard on the lower left, do you see ‘Control’ and Windows Key?”

“Hmmm… Control and, Control and what?”

“Control and Windows Keys.”

“Uh, oh, yes I see them now!”

“Now, tap both keys and hold them down”

“OK, ummm… OK!”

“What do you see, what does the window say?”

“It says you are a lying son of a bitch who is trying to steal from me, and that you are a low-life and a good argument for abortion” and I hang up. I love it, can’t wait for the next call.


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