Mom had a hard and fast rule: “Don’t touch the cookies, they’re for the kids, meaning my two youngest sisters. Me and hard fast rules never could make a connection, it seems such a thing was a challenge that I needed to meet head-on.
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| Almost as good as powdered donuts! |
It was a Saturday morning, she was still in bed asleep, and Mom and Dad had gone out. I was awake, and decided to get my revenge on my older sister! Going to the cookie closet, I took down the unopened box of cookies, and removed a half a dozen, or maybe it was six, I don’t remember, and ate all but one. The one cookie I took into my sleeping sisters room, and crumbled it on her bed! The brilliance of my plan was so cold and calculating, that to this day, I smile at it. I re-glued the box and put it back on the shelf.
Mom came home and was loading the closet with some items, when she noticed the box of cookies was lighter than she expected as she moved them to accommodate new groceries! I had used a butter knife to slice away the glue and not rip the cookie top of the box.
“JOSEPH! DID YOU GO INTO THE COOKIES, I TOLD YOU THEY ARE FOR THE KIDS!”
“Mom, why do I get blamed for everything around here? Huh?”
“THEN WHY IS THE BOX HALF EMPTY, YOUR TWO SISTERS ARE TOO SMALL TO REACH THEM. YOU ARE THE ONLY CHOOTCH I NOW WHO WOULD DO THIS!”
“Maybe my older sister did it?”
“OH, PLEASE, DON’T HAND ME THAT!”
“Well, ask her, for a change don’t ask me.”
(Notice I didn’t deny anything, just asked for a more thorough investigation, before getting the wooden spoon broken on my head.)
Mom goes into my older sister’s room, where she is awakened and questioned, and of course, she denies everything. (What a piece of work, she knows she’s innocent even in her sleep. Jeez!)
I go in to help things along, lean on the crumbs and brush them off, Mom sees this and she gets hell!
Revenge and about five cookies were mine, free and clear.
Later in life I often though of apologizing to my older sister, but thought: NAH!
Mom came home and was loading the closet with some items, when she noticed the box of cookies was lighter than she expected as she moved them to accommodate new groceries! I had used a butter knife to slice away the glue and not rip the cookie top of the box.
“JOSEPH! DID YOU GO INTO THE COOKIES, I TOLD YOU THEY ARE FOR THE KIDS!”
“Mom, why do I get blamed for everything around here? Huh?”
“THEN WHY IS THE BOX HALF EMPTY, YOUR TWO SISTERS ARE TOO SMALL TO REACH THEM. YOU ARE THE ONLY CHOOTCH I NOW WHO WOULD DO THIS!”
“Maybe my older sister did it?”
“OH, PLEASE, DON’T HAND ME THAT!”
“Well, ask her, for a change don’t ask me.”
(Notice I didn’t deny anything, just asked for a more thorough investigation, before getting the wooden spoon broken on my head.)
Mom goes into my older sister’s room, where she is awakened and questioned, and of course, she denies everything. (What a piece of work, she knows she’s innocent even in her sleep. Jeez!)
I go in to help things along, lean on the crumbs and brush them off, Mom sees this and she gets hell!
Revenge and about five cookies were mine, free and clear.
Later in life I often though of apologizing to my older sister, but thought: NAH!
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