Sitting in a hospital room keeping someone company who can’t speak and is constantly on the coppice of a ruin of woodland medical help is very boring. As I last complained she is a tough cookie.
But in the hours that fly by like a blade of grass as it
reaches for the sky, I have learned a few things.
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| Don't get her mad! |
1.
If they catch you using the patient’s bathroom
because you are too lazy to search the myriad halls of a strange hospital to
pee, you need to have a better plan than just a need. My plan is I take in the
utensils she eats with and a cup and as I am finished, wash them with the door
opened. As they form a line to utter their disapproval and contempt of me I
tell them I was washing the utensils because they needed to be cleaned. The one
problem with this plan is you need to do it only during mealtimes.
2.
Leftover food such as pudding, juice and ice
cream that goes unused by the patient can save you a lot of money at the
cafeteria and the trip it takes to go there. Savings from loans for paying large
sums for lunch and the high interest-rates of today’s world is a convenience.
If you don’t go and pee, you resort to such things as eating chocolate pudding
with a fork because the utensils are used by the patient except for the fork.
3.
To make a private phone call you go to the
visitor waiting room on the floor and whip out your I-phone and make a
connection, where as soon as you do someone comes in to sit or play with their
cell phone and leaves when your call is done!
4.
If you are leaving the hospital and mother
nature calls as you are nearing the exit, you plan for the last restroom on the
way out hoping that it is unoccupied and watch helplessly as an old man in shorts
and a baseball cap gets in before you, and falls asleep while you wait for him to
ever come out.
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