WE SHOULD BE BORN OLD!

What is being sold

I'm opening my own warehouse

Today is Saturday and I decided to wear my rotting old jeans, and accessorizing where needed. All week long I go to meetings at the agency and put on nice slacks or jeans. I put on my good shoes and best shirts, and frankly, I’m sick of it.

I retired for a good reason… to avoid having to wear suits with ties and hard shoes. I still find myself sitting around conference tables, but I lean back more often, even cross my leg of one side over the knee of the other!

Now my jeans are cutting edge, or may be worn out, depending on whether you see the glass as half washed or half dirty. (I thought it needed some revising) As my clothes get older their value increases according to the jean marketplace. People are actually paying good money for ripped jeans, faded colors notwithstanding and if they hang on by the grace of your fat ass, hang at the hips. People now see me and think: “There goes a well-dressed man!” a man of distinction.

Some people wait to see if their old clothes will come back in style, I wait until they are worn out and then walk with pride. I… am cutting edge!