A FINAL LOOK AT THE YEAR 2018

Courtney, Darby, and Bobby

As I look back on 2018 I wonder how I can keep an honest perspective. You know as an art major, the first thing you should learn is the concept of perspective or vanishing point, that point where all in the picture should come together, “keeping everything in perspective” as they say.There is the vanishing point and all lines point to it.

2018 was just the kind of year for me to need a perspective, to realign my family and myself and understand that in the end, there is a point to it all. I have found the point elusive and troubling. It has rendered my family to pain and anguish and there seemed to be a constant assault on our sanity. Losing my daughter-in-law in that horrible event so pains me, yet she left behind her greatest legacy, the person she was and still seems to be. I have two beautiful and remarkable grandchildren and she will live on in them.

Courtney was a private person who sang out to the world in her talents, her inner soul and her natural beauty. Courtney cultivated her daughter Darby into herself in a way. When I see my precious granddaughter I see my daughter-in-law in all her being as a creative and beautiful person. I miss her. She honored me when she baptized Darby in a dress my mother made for my daughter four and a half years ago when Mom died. She didn’t have to, but she did.

A bench at the Los Angeles Zoo dedicated to my grandchildren

Giving birth she paid the ultimate sacrifice, but before she was done, she left us with one more incredible creation of hers: her son Robert Courtney (Bobby) and so another song is playing itself out in this beautiful child. My heart breaks for both of these children and every time I see them, look into their eyes and see their smiling faces I remember Courtney.

My son, Courtney’s husband and Darby and Bobby’s Dad has done a wonderful job of keeping this beautiful family with a timeless legacy alive and thriving, doing his best and giving the children a chance they so dearly need and seem to have the tools for. Anthony was given a tough burden to carry and he knows that we as his parents along with his brother will help him every inch of the way until he tells us he doesn’t need us anymore.

Daddy and Bobby

My daughter Ellen has also been in a stroke of bad luck. She is developmentally disabled, fragile and needs assistance with every breath she breathes. Ellen leaves us sleepless and constantly worried about her safety. In the last three years, she has been hospitalized due to falls, breaking her leg, causing a brain bleed and needing a ball replacement in her hip. In the past three years, she has spent more time in hospitals and rehabilitation centers that she has spent at home.

-->