I AM HIGH MAINTENANCE

Every morning when I get dressed, I go through a whole array of goodies that I NEED.

I carry with me a photo holder, as I can best describe it. It is a leather covered grommet encased multi-photo holder. The size is about as large as a wallet photo. What do I need that for? I keep all my acquired business cards that I get. Important ones for the local Chinese takeout, doctor cards, appointment cards, and medication listings for when I have to tell someone like a new doctor what I take and how much, or when. This holder has a pocket on each side to allow me to carry hearing aid batteries and toothpicks.

Everyone needs a wallet. So do I. I carry my cash and phone numbers without names to them. This is a hobby of mine. I used to be able to call these numbers with impunity, and if someone answered that I liked, I would speak. If not, I could hang up and scratch off the number. Now, with caller ID, I can’t do that. I also carry an array of credit cards TLW (The Little Woman) insists I carry. I never use them, and they pile up, so that when I do need one, the one I choose is expired. I wind up looking like some deadbeat to a merchant. Hey, I don’t check dates of expiration; I just take what TLW gives me and follow orders.

Writing a blog requires my needing a notebook with a pen. I don’t carry pencils; I like to make permanent notes. Not only notes are taken down. If I’m too lazy to put a phone number in my wallet, the notebook is handy. It also helps when I want to remember a web site.

Then there is my date book, and an electronic date book that I carry sometimes. I need yesterday’s change, and any valuable slips of paper I have for later reference, not to mention a cell phone that I never leave on. This keeps up, and I get a pocket book like TLW.
So, if you see me walking with a limp, fear not, it is only me fully dressed. Here is the kicker for me. What the hell do I need any of that stuff if I’m retired, and don’t go far anyway?

Wish I’d go far? Further away from this computer and writing this insipid blog? Then write to: joedelbroccolo@yahoo.com. Tell him: “Why don’t you find the KonTiki and take a trip across the Pacific with it?”