THE BRAIN IS DEAD…

But the mouth is still going.
Or how I get to paint the living room.

If you are a reader of this insipid blog, you know by now about the wooden railing we will install in place of the wrought iron one on the staircase and hall upstairs.

Along with such grandiose plans comes the news that we are lifting up the carpeting and refinishing the wood floors.

TLW (The Little Woman) and I sat in the living room to discuss what we would do, and to rearrange the furniture.

ATTENTION: Married Men! This will happen on occasion. Be prepared to move it, and to be surprised when she moves it while you are either: asleep, or away at work. Do not, I repeat: DO NOT attempt to walk in the dark in your own home. She may rearrange the furniture; you get up to go to the toilet at 3:00 AM, and pee into the armoire.

Wait… Another bulletin has just come in!

ATTENTION: Married Men! Be careful what you say when caught up in her redecorating schemes, the mouth goes off and the brain is dead!

What happened you ask?

I, while chatting with TLW, said: “Maybe we should paint both the walls and ceiling now that we are doing all this work. As the words came out, a little voice in my head was screaming: “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

I saw the words leave my big mouth, I tried to get them back and stuff them into my jaws, but I couldn’t locate them, because my eyes were filled with tears!

To make things complete, we went out to “Look at drapes” and paint chips. When we are finished decorating the living room, you can then come over to see it, tell TLW how nice it looks. If you wish to tell me, I will be either at the Poor House, or the Home for Mentally Disturbed and Financially Depleted Husbands.