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Thursday, January 07, 2016

KEEPING ON TRACK


Yes, I am your man, if you want to have someone run and go nowhere, I’m good at it.

Recently I went to the cardiologist as you already know and did the stress test. Now normally, the test requires you to take on the treadmill and walk your ass off and do it under a lot of strain, so they (the teckies) can get your heart rate. The idea is to give you a heart attack and therefore collect for the cost of the test. There is no place for sissies in this testing, and if you die well, too bad!

Last and subsequent years I have been doing the nuclear stress test, with the needle lying down while my heart races where no man has gone before, but it is a sick awful feeling, just to avoid the treadmill

Being a thinker outside the box, I decided to ask if there was another way to die and they said no. We inject you with a needle, and your heart races and you die. The injection of an isotope of some kind that is used to see how you are situated with clogged arteries. Once they get your information, they inject you once again if you are still alive and the feeling of hot molten lead in your veins then goes away. Amazing.

I actually did pretty good for an old guy, they even said for my age, wow, I did good! Walking then climbing then running and climbing, they look for signs that you are about to keel over, so they gather around you with their arms out, ready to catch you on your way down. But I fooled them: I kept going, like the bunny that keeps on going and going.

Tomorrow I call them and ask how I did, and if I did good enough that there is no blockage, then I will be very disappointed because I have to do it all over again next year!

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