INHERITANCE, I CAN HEAR IT!

Being I am deaf as a doorknob and not as knowledgeable sometimes things come my way because of it. It seems every time someone I know dies and had a hearing loss, the estate wills me the left over hearing aid batteries! No, there is no formal reading of the will, but the survivors think of me and give me all the leftover batteries.

This is a humbling experience as you can imagine getting what is left of any estate but it is what it is and can be haunting when I hear noises I can’t explain!

Just the other day a neighbor died deaf, which is how I will do it too.

TLW: (The Little Woman) “Joe, Cosmo down the block passed away last night and the wake is this afternoon at DIGGUM, DHEEPE & KRYER FUNERAL HOME.”

ME: Isn’t he the guy that everyone confused with me because he kept on saying ‘What’ at the block party? Sad, I’ll go and pay my respects.

The need for me to get to the funeral home is important, I don’t want those batteries to be given out before I can claim them. I will approach the widow and casually ask about the deceased and his batteries respectfully.

Me: “I'm so sorry for your loss, Mrs. Sordo! Cosmo was a fine man.

Mrs. Sordo: “Oh Joe, thank you! Cosmo spoke fondly of you, said he always liked you.”

Me: “That’s nice to hear. Did he er… that is a… was there a ..I mean did he leave…”

Mrs. Sordo: Oh yes, he left us too soon, suddenly but painlessly. He was a good man.”

Me: “I’m sure he was. But ah… was there any mention of any … “

Mrs. Sordo: “Oh, Joe, I almost forgot, he wanted you to have this…” reaching into her pocketbook among the used tissues handing me a little box!

Ah! The unused batteries! As I open the box, there sat my inheritance, one God-awful purple pinky ring!

I hear he died quietly.