IT'S SPECIAL!

Through the course of the past year, I have wrestled with the concept of God and life thereafter. Having lived the worst part of my life in the past year and a half I can’t imagine a loving God, let alone a compassionate one. The horror of my daughter-in-law’s death during childbirth, the trauma of my grandson having his life saved, the awful pain of my granddaughter’s loss of her mom, have added to the agony of my daughter.

Since August of last year, my daughter Ellen has suffered so much that it is impossible to relate it without making the reader feel I am making it all up.

I included two photos of my grandchildren Darby Shea and Robert Courtney and a comparison that was made of them at the same age. They look very close to being twins, if I do say so myself, they are beautiful children.

Taking stock of #1 Son’s tragic loss of his beautiful wife Courtney, I guess I shall say that she was a blessing she was someone who I would have chosen for my son to marry if I had such power. Not only was she beautiful, but she was also so smart and yet so much fun. She was a fellow artist and raised the greatest little girl in her image that I giggle when I see the signs and thank God for that fact!

Then in her tragic passing Courtney gave us a beautiful son, Bobby, a lasting gift to the World her final gift. He is the miracle child, defying death and brain damage and because of the incredible nurses at the hospital where he was born and the rescue and further preservation by the staff of Los Angeles Children’s Hospital he is here today, alive, beautiful, and full of piss and vinegar!

My daughter has come a long way from the death the doctors told us was inevitable. She beat colon cancer with the need of chemotherapy, defied a brain bleed, recovered from a hip replacement but still battles some issues such as the results of pneumonia and bedsore that goes down to the bone. She is currently living on a tracheotomy that hopefully will disappear at some point and she can return to her home.

But in all this, I know in my heart that I am happy basically. That the survivors of these issues are whom I love as are the victims. That I have them in my life makes me happy and wanting to be with them all! Maybe I’m just plain stupid and don’t know how to suffer, but life is precious and sacred to me. I treasure all I have and that is all whom I love. No money or goods will make me happy, but the voice of a call where I hear “Hey Dad!” from one of my sons, or “Grandpa!”, that gives me great joy, seeing my daughter smile again, lifts my heart. The notion that Courtney chose my family, she was buying into her crazy father-in-law leaves me filled with pride and joy that one of my children was chosen by this kind of person.