THAT KWAZY WABBIT!

I am about to commit murder. I have to: he leaves me no choice!

Everyday a crazy rabbit shows up on my front lawn and eats my grass. Now I don’t mind rabbits and I don’t mind them eating grass, that is my neighbor’s grass, but stay the heck off of mine.

I have found him sitting brazenly in front of my house, in my front yard, parked on my front lawn.  The lawn is in the midst of a great struggle to grow, since I chopped down the old oak tree. It is taking time because it is mid summer and not the best time to start a lawn.

I have tried to ignore it at first, but then he came back again.

Then one morning I went out there to try to reason with him. He wouldn’t listen, ignoring me and eating like he was at a drive-in with popcorn! I told him that my relatives had a dish just for rabbit, and if he didn’t vamoose soon, he would be under a red sauce sprinkled with Parmesan cheese.

This particular case seems to be leading me in directions and actions I really don’t want to take. I picked up a pebble and gently tossed it at him, but he just moved over a bit. I yelled and screamed and still nothing. I’m thinking of getting a broom and whacking him in his tail and shooing him off that way. No, I won’t hurt him.

I told TLW (The Little Woman) and all she said was: “Oh, leave the poor rabbit alone, there’s enough grass for everybody!!

I’m starting to hate that rabbit. Last evening as he sat on my lawn, what do I see but a squirrel looking at the rabbit as he entered my lawn. This is so out of hand that I’m thinking maybe the animals all think St. Francis of Assisi lives here.

I opened my door and the rabbit will face me on the lawn now, so he can see me coming. Looking back I charge the critter and he stares me down as I charge at him, the very last second shifting and taking off towards another part of the lawn, across the driveway.

Coming home from work, I tell TLW about the rabbit again and my day at war with it, and she asks: “Who won?”

“There’s always tomorrow!”

But I have a plan: I am setting up the sprinklers on the lawn and waiting. When he shows up, I slip out of the back entrance and turn on the hose/sprinkler system and we will see who is boss!

No animals or creatures of any kind were hurt while writing this story.