AND THE SAME TO YOU, FELLA!

Years ago, one of my favorite comedians, Bob Newhart had a routine where he would without props have a conversation on the phone, one of which turned ugly for one reason or another. The end of these conversations usually ended in him speaking into his hand shaped telephone and saying: "The same to you, fella!"

A few days ago, while sitting in my chair waiting to die, it being a slow afternoon with the perusing of the Internet I received a call on my cell-phone. Not being a number I recognized I answered it, thinking it might be a Board member needing to speak with me.

It turned out it was some stranger with a heavy and impossible East Asian accent, maybe Pakistani or Indian, who launched into a tirade about me, my honesty and how crooked my company was. On the verge of profanity, he seemed to be upset. He mentioned the fact that someone had given him my number and that he was tired of this game I was playing.

Then he got a little nasty, and at that point, I realized: here is an opportunity to make matters worse! I decided to tell him the truth.

Me: "I have NO idea what you are talking about!"

Punjab: "Don't give me that $#!+, I am going to sue you, you mother …"

Me: "Well then, go _ _ _ _ yourself, and I dare you to sue me!" With that, I ended the call. (You can't really say "hung up" anymore with a cell phone.)

He immediately called back and I didn't answer, but he left a message, one filled with rage and dirty talk and so I hope he does call back now that I have him hotter than a Jalapeno or Asian pepper!

Nothing like a little rage over the holidays!