Driving along the LIE in rush hour is a lot like the Indy 500, or jousting for that matter, you jockey into position watching the screwball who is looking to merge traffic at the last minute without a signal, the moron that weaves in and out of traffic only to be stuck behind a slow-moving car as you pass him.
Through the course of this adventure, while I am driving, I have nervous Nellie sitting next to me. For every move a driver on the road makes, she has a counter and nervous move of her own, which includes grabbing the little grip over the door on the passenger's side, stiffening her body and slow and almost muted groans that slip through her lips. These go for the most part, ignored. Her braking without a brake pedal is fun to watch and sometimes not.
Our job was to go to Commack to the surgeon's office for a "couple of minutes to check out the surgery" that lasted a whole hour. As we drive we realize we are running late due to the slow-moving traffic, and it seems as I get off the LIE, it only gets slower. On the roads at this hour are the lawn guys with their trucks hauling a tow with equipment, school buses and little old ladies, all hell-bent to impede my progress, and of course the trucks of all sizes and shapes, all going at a snail's pace to hold up everything!
But it is the conversation that takes place throughout this ordeal, the ‘observations' being made as I drive and the fact that I am willing to make up the time if she will only close her eyes. By moron #5 we were reaching the office with a minute to spare, as I pull up to the parking spot and as she exits states: "Well, at least I arrived alive!" To which I replied: "Keep it up, you haven't reached the front door yet!"
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