ALL IN THE FAMILY

Recently we discovered that our TV has a voice. If you raise the volume level the TV, in a woman's voice shouts out loud: "RAISING VOLUME LEVEL 40, 41, 42" until I reach the level I want to hear the TV with. This, of course, annoys TLW (The Little Woman) and so she managed to kill her! Yep, in cold electrons or something.

which one is Siri and which one is GPS?

I seem to have women's voices dictating to me all day long. There is my GPS, something that TLW has a difficult time getting along with and arguments have broken out in the car! Sometimes I have to separate them! Once she used the GPS to drive to Connecticut to a shower with someone else. They talked so much that they got lost. Why do you ask with a GPS in the car? Because the damned thing couldn't get a word in edge-wise. The GPS has a women's voice, I selected a woman's voice because that is how I am used to taking orders.

If that is not enough, the alarm system in my home is rigged to a women's voice also. If you choose to go out of the house or enter it, there comes an overhead voice that shouts out: "FRONT DOOR!" You choose the rear entrance it shouts out: "BACK DOOR!" An old business partner of mine when he visits about once a month, as he enters comments: "I don't know how you stand that!" I tell him that it is the only means of conversation during my day.

Then there is Siri: the bitch that answers back! Now she is on my I-phone, I-pad and 2 computers. You ask her a question:

"Siri, how many toes in a foot?"

"I'll have to look that up."

"You, dumb ass!"

"Who, me?"

"Yes, you!"

"I thought so!"

At least she doesn't give me a fight.